Well, Spring seems to have finally sprung, which is fab as it means the kids can do a lot more running around in the outside world than round and round the living room! The Easter holidays were a happy blur of park trips and rock throwing sessions on the beach. Uncle Oli also came to stay for a few days which made everyone very happy. He was also here for Seb’s birthday which was great. We went for breakfast in the morning where the birthday boy picked toast and lots of jam when asked to pick anything he liked! He had a quiet birthday but still had lots of fun. I still can’t quite get my head around the fact that he’s now 4.

Good Friday also bought a fabulous day for everyone. The kids went off to Auntie Jen’s house for an Easter egg hunt and fun with their cousins while Henry and I went to our friend’s wedding. It really was the most amazing day- we laughed, cried, danced, hugged and some of us many have had too many shots! It was so wonderful to be able to be part of their amazing day and they both looked incredible! Thank you both for a beautiful day.

The dress I bought online was quite a floaty thing and I knew I would potentially be a bit of a drunk mess by the end of night so felt more comfortable with a pair of shorts on underneath- sadly I didn’t have a pair that wouldn’t be noticeable but somehow I managed to fit my bum into a pair of Polly’s instead!

While Uncle Oli was down we also tested Seb to see how far he could manage on a big walk- he amazed us and walked over 2 miles up and down hills and even had enough energy at the end to do some running. He was quite reluctant to come out of the pushchair once Clara started using it more and we’ve been slowly weaning him off the buggy board so this was a huge deal for his little legs- plus a relief for us as the board is definitely starting to struggle with pulling him along now.

We also had a playdate at the soft play café in the town which was great fun. Clara put on her brave pants and loved going round with the bigger kids- she loved the slide the most. She also showed off a terrifying trick at the park the other day when she climbed all the way up the slide that is taller than me! Crazy little dare devil.

Polly has developed a love of the tv show ‘Friends’ which is proving pretty entertaining at times- she gets very invested in the stories and has already worked out that Ross and Rachel are meant to be together so got very angry during the episodes in London (“no, no, no, he should not be marrying that one, he loves the other girl!”). She tells me her favourite characters are Rachel and Phoebe and the other day I caught her singing the theme tune while playing.

She also showed her classic Polly boldness the other day during a playdate in the Byes. Together with some of her friends they accosted some teenagers in the orchard having a picnic and the next moment they had started a water fight with the teenagers water pistols! For a moment us parents were like- do we need to intervene?- but then we realised the teenagers were actually passing the water pistols around to each of the kids so instead we sat back and watched the chaos from a safe distance! The kids thought it was hilarious fun.

I think that’s me done for the day- it’s taken 3 attempts to write this post out, the only reason I’ve succeeded in finishing it was thanks to some help from Pokémon which all 3 kids are now obsessed with. I mean Clara can still only say a handful of words at the moment and one of them is ‘Pikachu’ in her own very special way!

Well, I’m not really sure where to start. It’s been a little while and a lot has happened since I signed off at the end of last year, I can’t quite believe we are halfway through March. I’ve been meaning to sit down and do a post for a few weeks but each time I never really know how to start- it’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to write so apologies in advance if this is a bit of a rambley post to get back into the swing of blogging.

The biggest change for us has been my little job change. At the end of last year I realised I was ready for a bit of a change and applied for a job that I never thought I’d get (with a little push from a couple of people who had more faith in my abilities than I did!) and at the start of January I started an 8 week training programme that was incredibly intense and swallowed me up a bit. I’ve now come out the other side and am slowly getting used to a very different job role, working different shifts at any time of the day or night and I’m really appreciating that it was definitely the right decision to make. This change has meant that Henry has had to pick up the household role a lot more as we adjust to a new way of doing things. He’s been amazing and has really enjoyed the chance to go back to toddler groups after a long gap thanks to covid lockdowns. He’s also got a pretty good tea making intuition that means I usually walk in the door to a ready to drink cup of tea which is quite a blessing after an intense 12 hour shift. On a side note I will forever be grateful to him for helping this change come about, for encouraging me through every moment of the training, for believing in me and for the little things like hiding creme eggs in the kitchen for me when I come home.

The other one in the house who’s had a big change is Seb. Sadly at the end of last year we got the news that his lovely little nursery was closing down. Polly loved going there and Seb was getting on so well that this was a real blow- the team there were so friendly we definitely shed a few tears. The good news is we managed to get him a place at the nursery attached to Polly’s school and a few of his friends also made the transition so he handled the whole thing like an absolute trooper. I still have to pinch myself at the realisation that my wee man starts school in a few months time, he seems to have grown up so much the last few weeks and he is so excited to go, I’m just not sure I’m ready to say that 2 out of my 3 rascals are school age, especially when he crawls up next to you on the sofa and declares- “I huggle of you” with a big cuddle.

As for the big girl, well, she’s just Polly. The child is an absolute Queen in the making and makes me laugh out loud and want to pull my hair out every day! With recent quotes like- “I don’t need to go to school today because I already know everything.” Her reading has come on leaps and bounds and she is forever finding things to read and also has a thing about setting herself maths homework- she will even pull up chairs for her siblings and instruct them to call her ‘Miss Flower’ before teaching them various things she has learnt at school, after doing that all important register where she gives everyone a new name. She also has moments where she absolutely melts my heart though. After giving her a very child friendly brief on the situation in Ukraine at the moment her instant reaction to seeing the thousands of people fleeing their homes- “well they could just come here and we would be their friends.”

And then there’s the baby- who is actually the biggest rascal of the whole house. Our little koala bear is an absolute hoot. Whether she’s in the kitchen pulling out 6 plates, 4 bowls, 7 cups and enough cutlery to feed a rugby team every time you go in there to make a meal. Whether she’s dancing around, wagging her finger saying ‘no no no’ whilst getting our almost daily fix of Encanto- ‘we don’t talk about Bruno’ being her absolute favourite tune of course! Or whether she is stealing everyone else’s food before settling down to eat her own. Or when you find her sitting on the dining room table colouring in the table mats with the pens she’s managed to find. She is the cheekiest of all cheeky rascals and gets more entertaining.

The job change has also forced me back into the driving seat. After going very weird about driving since having the kids and using every excuse known to man to not drive the car- taking a job that is not in the town has meant I have had to push myself back into driving and I’m slowly getting my confidence back. Don’t get me wrong I’m avoiding small roads like the plague and have been known to leave the car outside with flashing hazard lights on as my frazzled brain can’t park this giant car of ours very well so Henry gets the keys chucked his direction occasionally. But it is slowly getting better.

So, now I’ve finally produced another blog and seem to be getting into the swing of the new set up I should be back more regularly- I’m not promising it though as I think I said that at the end of every post I wrote last year! But here’s hoping!

I’m not really sure where the last 6 weeks or so have actually gone, there definitely must have been a time jump at some point as it seems five minutes ago that we were pulling the decorations out from the cupboard under the stairs and now we are in those last few days before the big day itself! Decorating the tree was an amusing experience as expected this year as I had three eager little helpers. Seb could be found trying to attach 600 baubles to one branch, Clara was routinely giving the whole tree a shake just to see whether it would stand up to an earthquake and Polly was insisting on using every last decoration we owned- hence why the tree has more tinsel on it than branches.

After putting the decorations up that weekend we then headed into Exeter to go and visit the Christmas market, we caught up with our friend Pati on the elf train and of course treated ourselves to a McDonalds on the way home, quote of the day came from Polly on the drive home in the dark and the rain- “Mummy look, the dark is crying.”

We were lucky enough to be able to witness Polly’s nativity in person this year which was a really magical experience. The run up to this involved lots of singing practise where the delightful songs all got stuck in our heads and Henry and I spent many days winding each other up singing random lines at each other to get certain songs stuck back in the others head (“Shepherds get up on your feet!!”)- and it’s back lodged in my brain again!

December also means wrapping presents whenever you get 10 minutes to spare and hoping you remember all the hiding spots for them come Christmas Eve night- only time will tell if I pass this test. The week before Christmas is also when one child will suddenly start chatting about Santa bringing an entirely different present to what ‘trying-to-be-organised so started shopping in October Mummy’ had prepared for- thank goodness for Amazon!

Yesterday we had a super-duper Christmas filled day with a trip to see the main man himself and then a visit to a local farm where his reindeer were staying. The Santa we saw was amazing and the kids were absolutely mesmerised and even Clara was into it.

After an action packed day yesterday we are having a slightly quieter day today which means the kids are getting their Christmas film hit while I attempt to clean the house. This is pretty much impossible as if you leave one room unattended such as the living room then you come back to find they’ve emptied the ball pit. It did give an amusing moment though when I was upstairs cleaning the bathroom. I came down to find Clara eating a pack of cheddars and it took a few minutes to get the full story out of Polly as to how she had managed this. Turns out the big two got spooked by a spider and it made Clara jump and slip over a ball from the upturned ball pit. Clara started to cry so Polly solved her tears by providing her with food (she also helped herself to a snack for ‘saving the day’). I mean Clara does love her food and at least this was an actual food item unlike the other day when I caught her squeezing body lotion out of a bottle to eat.

On that note I think I’ll sign off on another whirlwind year as these bloody balls don’t seem to be being tidied up, but that does mean that I get to pick the next film as that was the bribe to get them to tidy up! So Merry Christmas to everyone and all that jazz. Let’s hope 2022 is as much of an adventure as it’s looking like it will be with a few exciting things lined up for us in the next few months. And hopefully I’ll be a bit less shit with updating this blog! Thanks for reading 🙂

It’s November now which means it’s officially Christmas season! As expected Seb and I are currently watching Polar Express for the 3rd time this season. I expect we’ll hit double figures before December.

We had a fairly busy half term finishing off with an alternate Halloween party full of brights lights and lots of colours. The kids had a blast with toasted marshmallows and a bouncy castle as well as an excuse to get dressed up.

We started the half term with an adventure down to south Devon. Uncle Oli, Auntie Faye and her parents were down in the area for a visit so we met them at the butterfly and otter sanctuary in the pouring rain. We had a lot of fun there despite the weather.

The weather cleared out and we headed to Burgh Island which was amazing. The kids had a blast in the sand and the views were amazing.

After saying goodbye to the family we headed back home, of course we hadn’t eaten tea yet so the kids yet again emotionally blackmailed us into a McDonald’s. Clara then made it a memorable experience by doing a poonami and as she’d already gone through all her spare clothes after going swimming she spent the rest of the meal like this…

The middle of half term was spent up in the ‘Quiets’ (that’s the premier inn to everyone else!), with a Suffolk trip to see family and friends. We packed in quite a lot with a soft play trip and a woodland walk each with friends, then a few cups of teas catching up with our grandparents. It was a nice break with highlights including trying to get a photo of 5 kids looking at the camera with smiles…

Another highlight was a meal at Frankie & Benny’s, there was Polly’s brazen answer to what scoops of ice cream she would like (“maybe 5!”), to Clara keeping everyone entertained with a plastic cup that made Polly laugh so much that “it made me fart!”

The only bummer was that Seb lost his little red teddy that he’s been surgically attached to for months- I felt so guilty that I dragged us back round the places we’d been to that morning but no luck. I honestly blame Toy Story for traumatising me as kid that these poor lost toys might then come to life and try some desperate mission to be reunited with their owners which may ultimately lead them to being incinerated- thanks Woody & co!

The drive back home got me thinking about long car journeys with kids and the things we’ve learnt over the years:

– Someone will do a shit on the M25.

– Unfortunately you’ll pass at least one accident, sadly as the kids get older they become more aware of what that actually means instead of just lots of flashing lights… Polly: “Mummy where will all the dead bodies be? Will we see them?”

– You’ll turn into Smithy from Gavin & Stacey in the way you chat about service stations and yes we’d agree Chieveley is pretty high ranking but we never miss a stop at South Mimms.

– Every now and then you might make a wrong turn or miss an exit and you might just find a whole new route like the time we came home via the New Forest when we forgot to leave the M3.

– The kids will fall asleep 5 minutes before you arrive anywhere but will refuse to sleep when you need them too- like the time Polly stayed awake for the whole 3 hour stretch back from London.

– You’ll pack the ‘wrong clothes’ for someone- it’s normally Henry but this time it was Polly.

– And finally, breaking down in the dark, on a bridge, on the motorway with young children in the car is as horrifying an experience as it sounds- March 2020, not an experience any of us ever want to repeat again!

I think this is the longest I’ve gone without posting anything, life has been a bit chaotic and the writing part of my brain just sort of shut down. Luckily it’s kicked back into gear this week and I’ve been writing all sorts so I thought I’d throw some attention on the neglected blog.

I’m hoping that I’ll be back on track with regular posts so thought I’d do a little catch up post today.

Polly is now in year 1 at school, it’s actually been more of a jump than the ‘covid life to reception life’ as the structure seems a bit more set than the play heavy first year of school. She struggled with finishing one task and moving onto the next thing if she hadn’t finished the first thing, but she’s getting there now with a bit of liaising with her teachers who have been great about it. She is forever drawing and writing, she makes up little stories and has a new obsession- Pokemon! Her imaginary Pokemon come with her everywhere, including to Rainbows which she has also started recently- she loves going and wishes every day was Rainbows day! She also has her first wobbly tooth which sent the unprepared tooth fairy into a panic but 2 weeks later the bloody thing still hasn’t fallen out, so the mad dash to the post office in this new cash limited society wasn’t even necessary (at least I’m now ready for the next 10 when they do finally pop out).

Seb has started nursery 3 mornings a week and he absolutely loves going- “I go and play with friends today?” He brings home all sorts of artwork that’s now covering the walls and I can’t quite believe that we’ll be sorting out his school application in the next month or so! Earlier this week he taught Clara how to high 5 which was adorable to watch. His favourite quote at the minute is “good one mummy/daddy”- we get this compliment for doing anything from doing his breakfast to folding up washing. He has also become a huge Strictly fan and loves catching up with the dancing on Sunday, while doing his own amazing dancing too.

Then there’s the baby who’s suddenly not a baby anymore but a walking, gibberish-speaking, food stealing rascal. Clara is enjoying some one on one time at toddler groups and is getting braver every week, today she went exploring on the search for food and made friends along the way. She is so cheeky and is always getting up to mischief- from sitting herself in the washing basket while I’m trying to hang up the clothes to dry, chucking them all over the floor in the process to opening all the kitchen cupboards and emptying them all over the floor whenever she can sneak her way into the kitchen if one of us fools leaves the gate open for precisely 0.3 seconds.

And after a very very long time of not going out just the two of us, Henry and I actually had two nights out in one week! We had a work party where I drank way too much wine and had some major regrets on the school run the next morning! Then we also went on a little cinema double date to see the new Bond film which I’m still recovering from- it’s a good job I wore my glasses and not my lenses as I was bawling by the end.

And finally it’s October so naturally we’ve started thinking about Christmas! I mean we do love the whole season of goodwill in this house and I’m not ashamed to admit that Seb and I watched the polar express together the other day while Clara napped. Roll on the tinsel!

I’ll try and book in some writing time a lot sooner and bring some half term antics to the page.

Last weekend was honestly one of the best weekends I’ve ever had- it was amazing. On Thursday we headed into Dorset to experience our first ever festival. I didn’t expect a family friendly festival to be my first one but my goodness I’m pleased it was- we went to Camp Bestival and I would 100% recommend going.

We pitched up our tent in the field and then used the afternoon to get our bearings round the many areas around the castle setting and also started trying some different foods before settling back at the tent for our first night camping as a family. It was quite an experience.

There was a warning of a bit of wind that night but oh my god no-one in that field was ready for the actual storm that hit instead! Henry and I woke in the middle of the night to find the tent trying to blow away- thus began the start of Henry’s next few hours of re-pegging it back down every hour. Several tents around us weren’t quite so fortunate. Polly woke for a couple of hours as the noise was horrendous, Seb woke for about 10 minutes then conked out again but the miracle was Clara-bear who incredibly slept through the whole thing!

Friday morning, after about an hours sleep, I woke up as a woman in my 30s, feeling like I’d been on a week long bender. We were very casual about getting moving as the wind was still pretty rough so all activities and acts were on hold till 11. So I opened some cards and we got some breakfast.

Luckily as soon as things got going they really got going. The first act we enjoyed on stage was Mister Maker. I have to say dancing to the shape song wearing fairy wings with 3 (4 counting Henry!) children was not how I envisioned celebrating my 30th but honestly it’s a moment I will treasure forever.

Clara conked out for a nap in the carrier just before S Club Party but that did not stop the party thanks to the last minute buy of ear defenders for the kids. Looking forward to sharing this memory with her when she gets older!

Clara was definitely in her element all weekend and loved any chance to have a little boogie. One of my favourite moments was dancing with her when Heather Small took to the stage on the Saturday.

The other big hit that day was of course Mr Tumble. I think he was actually Henry’s favourite act! It was very surreal watching him singing and shooting confetti guns everywhere.

Seb had his starstruck moment when we met Bluey in the CBeebies tent that afternoon. He was so amazed that it took 10 attempts to get him to face the camera for an actual photo bless him!

His favourite area was definitely the wooded area where there were mud kitchens and potion making areas and bamboo water slides for cups and bucketfuls of water- basically a chance for the kids to get absolutely filthy while being creative. Seb would have happily stayed there all weekend!

This whole area was then lit up at night time with coloured lights and glitter balls, making it even more magical for a night time walk.

To be honest apart from the Thursday storm we were really lucky with the weather. It wasn’t the warmest and we did get the odd shower but a heatwave would probably have been horrendous to deal with. Plus the one proper rain spell we saw did give a glorious rainbow right over the castle which was amazing on its own.

Another area that proved a big hit was the circus area. They had loads of circus equipment and games and trick bikes scattered around for the kids to try their hand at different things. Polly loved this area. They also had some giant inflatable things that I can’t describe very well (they looked a bit like the haahoos from In the night Garden) basically the kids could run and jump at them as they floated and bobbed around.

Polly was also very at home in the giant craft tent- if you’re not a fan of glitter you would have avoided this area like the plague as it looked like a bomb had gone off in The Works inside it- paint, glitter, glue just everywhere!

The toilet situation was the only thing that wasn’t ideal and Polly is still laughing a week later about us having to poo in basically a wheelie bin with a seat on top! Henry very quickly found the fancier Water Aid toilets that were managed by volunteers who cleaned them in between every use- long story short we’ve definitely donated enough to the charity that I can safely avoid their charity collectors in the street as Polly clocked on very quick to the cleanliness and the sticker you got each time, so every time we were in that area- “Mummy I need a wee!”

Something that was ideal was the food situation. So much choice! We were very naughty all weekend and tried lots of different stalls. I’m still raving about some incredible spring rolls I had and Henry is still banging on about some burger that he had. The kids were pretty happy with 2 pizza nights and so many chips that I think we’re out-chipped for the next month!

Most of the activities were included in the ticket price which was great. The fairground rides dotted around everywhere weren’t so we decided on one ride each day or you very easily have blown your whole budget on them. I loved the Ferris wheel with the big 2 as it gave amazing views and Henry had a blast with them on the carousel. Clara didn’t miss out and had her first ride on a little aeroplane which the big 2 thought hilarious to watch as she went round and round.

We did do a slight naughty with the Biggest bouncy castle in the World (it really is!) as it also had the biggest queue in the world and was only for ages 5 and up, so we told both the big kids that they were both too small to go on it. To be honest after the epic queue for the face painting I don’t think they were that bothered about missing a queue twice as long anyway.

There was so much to do and so many quirky little things that there honestly wasn’t a dull moment. From the giant robot at the entrance that all the kids turned into a giant climbing frame, to the random pianos dotted around to encourage impromptu performances from anyone. The weekend went off with a bang- quite literally- with a huge firework display that the little 2 loved. Sadly the green ones were too loud according to Polly so we had to watch the last bit walking backwards on the way out as she’d had enough by then. We then headed home straight after, Henry had packed the tent up straight after breakfast while I took the kids into the festival alone that morning.

So will we be heading back at some point- absolutely! We’re already planning what we’ll do in 2023 to make it an even more amazing experience and can’t wait to add more amazing memories to the bank!

It’s that sort of time again, here it is- 24 hours in my life, this is Wednesday 23rd June 2021….

23:40- Ok this is actually Tuesday night but this is the time I crawl into bed after work, and accidentally wake Clara in the process, to start my 24 hour diary. She comes in the bed next to us and has a couple of feeds during the night. At some point Polly bundles in the bed too.

6AM- I wake up thinking it’s time to get up, it’s not. The same thing happens again at 6:49!

7AM- Alarm goes off. We have some cuddles and a chat.

7:12- Out of bed, let’s go and get Seb.

7:15- Make the kids beds and head downstairs.

7:18- Discover the washing machine didn’t go off over night- great! Set it off immediately.

7:19- Bye bye Daddy, off to work he goes.

7:23- I head into the kitchen and make up Polly’s lunch while getting breakfast ready, it’s honestly like being at work as the breakfast orders are all different and these little non-paying customers are prone to last minute changes of mind. Today is chocolate spread waffles all round but Polly would like some coco pops too.

7:35- Sit down for breakfast. Seb gets a maths lesson from Polly counting out pieces of waffle. I Discover someone has biro penned all over the table and a book- no one is owning up.

7:56- Everyone dressed. Get pjs ready for later for everyone.

8:04- First tantrum of the day- Seb after arguing with Polly over who gets to throw Clara’s nappy in the bin (can’t wait to remind them of this stuff when they bring partners home).

8:08- All clean teeth. Polly sun tan lotion. Polly hair in plaits.

8:20- We read one of Polly’s story books from school.

8:30- I impulsively hoover downstairs as Clara keeps finding bits to eat that are not edible (I swear I’m hoovering every day at the moment!).

8:36- Shoes on, Clara in the carrier, Seb in the pushchair.

8:40- Out the door for the school run. Hear from Polly about her 101 bunnies stowed away in her book bag who are coming with her- all with their own book bags and lunch boxes that she’s packed up for them.

8:54- Home. Little play with the little 2.

9:05- Clear the draining board in the kitchen from yesterday’s washing up.

9:07- Trip on a toy that’s been hurled across the room by the baby- curse and wonder if I’ve actually broken a toe.

9:12- Set Seb up with babysitter Blippi and head upstairs for Clara’s nap. Read while sat on a pillow while she settles down.

9:25- Head downstairs now she’s asleep.

Get Seb a snack. Wash up, clean the cat’s bowls out, give the fridge a quick clean, recycling outside, wall paint tub away from yesterday (long story involving Polly and non washable paint and a hot air balloon!), go on a sticker hunt after these jokers emptied a sticker book round the house, the stickers are everywhere- the TV, windows, the sofa.

9:56- Sort out the girls birthday cards. Tidy the table- a major task on its own!

10:16- Washing on airers and outside as it’s actually sunny!

10:30- Cuddle and a chat on the sofa with little man ❤️

10:41- Seb asks to play with the oats and his trucks.

10:49- I pick up my book so naturally Clara wakes up. She comes down and finishes Seb’s cheddars while he carries on with his oats and I can sneak a bit of This Morning in!

11:13- Do a shoddy job of clearing up the oats so the hoover comes out again! Seb ‘helps’ with the toy one.

11:22- Sun tan lotion on, hats on and off to Lidl we go. We walk through the byes, play Pooh sticks, watch the bees at work, Seb blows a dandelion in Clara’s face which she finds hilarious. Seb picks out a pink donut and is a bad influence on me too, we head to the park to eat our treats and have a play.

12:38- Home. I get straight in the kitchen to make some lunch.

12:54- Sit down together for lunch.

13:15- Seb is doing some etch a sketching and Clara is crawling around destroying everything!

13:28- Time for another Clara nap. Seb is still etch a sketching. She’s a monkey going down so I end up finishing my book while popping down to give Seb a ‘please be quiet’ snack.

14:10- Sit with Seb, we have a little play and take turns drawing on the etch a sketch which seems to be the ‘toy of the day.’

14:48- Clara awake. Bad nap. Needs a breadstick to adjust to being awake as Seb jumps all over the sofa!

15:01- Shoes on again, school run time again.

15:16- Home and an immediate declaration of starvation- snacks are provided.

15:20- I start cooking tea.

15:24- Polly reading time.

15:44- Bluey makes an appearance, so does a second snack while I try and get rid of the Picasso masterpiece off Polly’s leg curtesy of her friend.

16:05- I decide I want to wear shorts to work so realise I need to get rid of my bear legs in the sink. Get dressed for work.

16:15- Get the washing back in and fold it up.

16:30- Sit down and eat my tea while fending off a rascal baby who wants to eat whatever she can get her hands on.

16:43- Henry home. Quick catch up chat.

16:49- Shoes on and off to work I go. It’s a food running shift tonight so plenty of steps.

23:35- I get a lift home. Henry’s awake after a nudge so a quick chat on the sofa. I shove my apron and cardi in the wash- there was an unfortunate ketchup incident just before I left work.

23:53- I jump in the shower and decide to wash my hair too but I can’t be bothered to dry it so plait it up out the way.

00:05- Check on the big 2 and give them a kiss. The other day Polly asked me to make sure I always do this even when she’s asleep, I told her not to worry, that it’s part of my bedtime routine.

00:08- Crawl into bed and of course hear Clara wake up 🤦‍♀️

Well oops, it’s been a little while since my last post. We’ve been getting back into the swing of juggling work and children and life in general so writing has slipped my mind the last few weeks. The kids have been amazing with the new adjustment as we’d all got very used to being together as a family for meals and bedtimes etc so it’s been a bit of a shock to the system for all concerned! Polly has been a helpful big girl doing little things like strapping Seb into the pushchair for school runs or tidying up the toys at bedtime which has really helped. She hasn’t lost her Polly sass of course but these little moments are helping make the sass more bearable!

We had a relatively quiet half term with a couple of beach afternoons and a few plays at the park. To be honest we’ve all needed the week to have a bit of downtime too so we’ve watched a lot of Bluey and had a lot of sofa cuddles too. Bluey did provide a heartwarming moment the other day though- we were watching ‘The baby race’ where the mum reminisced with the kids about the baby milestones and by the end both Polly and I burst into happy tears and had to have a little cuddle and chat about her baby years.

The weather seems to have finally realised it’s June and not October though which is a bonus, although it did change very abruptly so one minute Polly was asking for a hot chocolate after school and the next day I was frantically trying to find all the sunhats out.

We’ve also had the week of cake and birthdays thanks to the girls. I still can’t believe Polly is now 5 but I also can’t believe Clara is now 1.

On Polly’s birthday we worked back to back so it meant presents at 7AM in bed which was a hit. We ventured to the park to have a play with some friends and eat lots of cake. I also had some explaining to do as silly mummy realised at 11:30PM the night before that she’d bought age 4 balloons by mistake. Luckily Henry made up some story that it was a way of saying goodbye to her being 4, only trouble was she asked every hour afterwards when the 5 balloons would arrive.

Instead on Monday morning they were greeted with more balloons as the littlest baby isn’t a baby anymore. We were both off and Polly had a non-pupil day so we headed to the zoo for our first proper family day out as a complete family.

We had a blast and picked up a couple of hilarious anecdotes. The highlight being when Henry tried to take a selfie of himself with a peacock sitting on a fence, the peacock didn’t think much of this and turned around, bitch whipping him with his tail in the process. The look of horror on Henry’s face as he thought he was about to be savaged is still making me laugh!

At the cheetah enclosure Seb expressed his concern for the animals inside- “oh no they trapped!” Not sure yet how to explain the workings of a zoo to a 3 year old! Polly then got into an argument with a random 10 year old on what the cheetah could eat and how it probably wouldn’t be too fussy about eating birds or people given the chance. After the zoo we headed for a cheeky McDonalds where Clara was treated to her first happy meal- most of which she threw at us while staring at Henry daring him to tell her no, she did also discover and then devour my banana milkshake.

When we got home it was time for another bout of happy birthday singing. The big 2 helped Clara blow out the candle and then her first instinct was to stick her face in the cake and take a bite!

So we had a busy end to the half term week and Henry also squeezed in having his first covid jab (such a relief to be getting these now- I’ve been able to book mine this morning)- before we headed off to Roadford lake for a walk with Nanny and Pops on Sunday. The kids are very taken with their new puppy and spent the evening pretending to be Rosie which obviously gave us a nice relaxing evening before the zoo trip!

Well that’s all I have time for now as I’ve got to go and wake up Clara bear as it’s time for toddler group- so excited to be back at these now and they’ve definitely helped her get used to the fact that there are more than 5 people in the world.

I’ll try not to leave it so long next time!

We’ve just got back from our first family trip to the big smoke of Exeter in six months and are now having a ‘Disney and chill’ afternoon to finish off a pretty good bank holiday weekend. The big two had their feet measured, I’ve stocked up on the months birthday cards and Polly and I are summer ready with matching hats and some new sunglasses (assuming we actually get a summer this year!). We also caught up with my bestie, Pati, which was the definite highlight.

Clara-bear has had a busy week and has learnt to point, wave (not in the right direction but it’s still a wave!), open drawers & cupboards and can confidently get herself around the living room leaving a trail of destruction in her wake- even though she’s not actually conventionally crawling in the right direction!

She also got to attend her first toddler group! We had an outdoor play session, with Seb too, and it was so nice to be with other families doing some crafts and having a little sing song. Clara and I also went to a baby group two days later where she was fascinated to meet other babies. She’s definitely had a busy week and is also getting much better at being in strangers’ company.

Sadly our play date on Friday didn’t last too long as the rain arrived earlier than we all expected and the fairy house in the orchard didn’t hold out as waterproof for very long! The kids had fun despite the rain and to be fair the last orchard play date gave us a pelting of snow so at least they’re improving slowly!

Luckily we were quite lucky with the weather on Seb’s birthday. We went for a walk around Seaton wetlands and he made friends with some cows, then we had a picnic in the park. After picking Polly up from school we headed down to the beach for ice cream- he actually had a birthday cake flavoured one. After tea we then had actual birthday cake- a Polly made special topped with marshmallows as requested by the birthday boy himself. A pretty good birthday I recon.

The kids have discovered a new favourite TV programme- Bluey on Cbeebies and we then discovered its on Disney too. It’s actually so hilarious I think I’d watch it even without the kids around! It’s definitely a more accurate representation of kids behaviour than Topsy & Tim!

Amazingly in the time I’ve written this Clara has actually crawled properly across the room- twice. It’s not the smoothest crawl but it was definitely an actual crawl. Think it’s also my cue to sign off as she’s on a rascal rampage now!

So, as I start getting ready to go back to work after a mix of maternity leave and furlough there are lots of emotions swirling through my brain as it’s been a weird year and this is the last mat leave. One of those emotions was guilt and then I sat one morning and thought- why do I feel that?

There’s no #dadguilt trending, but I can guarantee I’ll read #mumguilt at least once a day- even I’m guilty of using this phrase. Well today I’m saying no more (and please feel free to point out if I use it again in future!) because I’m making a vow from this moment to shove that phrase up my arse.

Why should I feel guilty? Why should working make me feel guilty? I’m providing for my family. Why should being a stay at home mum make me feel guilty? I’m raising my kids in a way that suits my family. Why should I feel guilty if I don’t bring a penny of income into my family home if my partner (which indicates a team unit) does work while I deal with the childcare. Why does my worth need a financial basis? Why should I feel guilty if I have an afternoon ‘off’ and get my nails done, go for a cinema date with a friend or spend an hour sitting on the beach with the sun in my face? We all need time to recharge in life so why as a mum am I being pushed to feel guilty for showing my kids that there is more to me than ‘mum’, there is ‘me.’ But, if I choose to not do any of that and don’t want ‘me time’ right now- then guess what? That’s nobodies business either.

Social media is great for many things but it is also responsible for pushing this stupid movement. Picture perfect playrooms on Instagram that are too perfect to even be played in, that make some feel guilty because they can’t recreate them and are pushed to feel guilt at their second hand toy box that actually provides laughter from a grateful and happy child. Fuck that guilt.

Those going on about the organic home made meals they’ve prepared for a baby whose probably going to throw most of it up the walls, but this is triggering guilt in the 9-5 working mum whose plated up chicken nuggets and chips (that will end up in clean plates by the way!). Fuck that guilt.

The page full of hourly snaps of a child with the #blessed #preciousmoments #nevermissamoment that a frazzled mum stumbles on during her 10 minute break in a 9 hour shift away from her #blessing, who is told she could ‘be there for every moment’ if she makes a ‘lifestyle change’ that actually only suits about 0.001% of the population and makes her question for a moment what she’s doing, when actually she’s doing exactly what is right for her family. Fuck that guilt.

The mum who is home 24/7 with her six kids who pops to have her hair done and gets greeted with the comment- “oh is your husband treating you?” Fuck that guilt and that judgement. She’s treating herself like the queen she is for bringing up those six kids.

The mum in the shoe shop trying to usher her excited school starter away from the £40 shoes and instead pointing out the pretty ribbon on the £5 ones she can afford. Fuck that guilt.

The mum watching her excited school starter trying on those £40 shoes with her heart bursting with pride while trying not to make the other mum feel bad. Fuck that guilt.

The mum working round the clock to pay for a dream holiday to Disney who misses the ‘first steps’ working an extra shift, trying to picture the look of wonder meeting Mickey Mouse will bring to make up for a different missed milestone. Fuck that guilt.

The mum who quits work altogether to raise her miracle IVF baby and soak up every minute who declines a zoo play date as the budget of one household income means the priorities have shifted. Fuck that guilt.

The chat at the baby sensory group about everyone’s birth experiences that triggers a whole rollercoaster of emotions for the mum who didn’t experience the birth she wanted or planned. Fuck that guilt.

Breast fed. Bottle fed

Baby led weaning. Purée food.

Baby groups. No groups.

Buying everything new. Buying everything second hand.

Back to work. Work from home. No work.

Fuck all that guilt.

The whole concept of mum guilt can quite frankly do one. I’m just a mum like many others- doing what is right and best for my kids, for me, for my husband- for our family. I am perfectly entitled to live my best life without being judged by anyone- including me, especially me. I should not be encouraged to feel guilt unless I’m actually harming my kids (or anyone else!) and last time I checked… my kids are doing just fine- thanks to me (and Henry of course!), so why the hell should I feel guilty for anything I do to achieve that?