So it’s been a while since my last post, oops. Life has just been a bit hectic. I was planning on doing a little catch up post but as some of the anecdotes are now a couple of months old I thought I’d sack that off especially as last weekend we had my brother’s wedding which I think deserves it’s own post.

This was a wedding we had been counting down to for over a year, not just would we get to watch my little brother marry the love of his life, but the children and I all had roles to play with the girls as bridesmaids, Seb as an usher and myself as a best man. The week before though Polly gave us a predicament to deal with when she attempted to give herself a haircut. Unfortunately she gave herself a very wonky fringe that was also incredibly short. Cue a dash to the hairdresser the next morning for a tidy up but there was no growing that back in a week! Hopefully she’s learnt to leave it to the professionals next time though!

The day before the wedding we headed to the venue to have a quick rehearsal and help with any last minute bits. Seb gave us all laugh when he spotted the reserved sign on what would be his chair in the wedding and asked us “Hey, what’s an oosha?” After this we headed to a nice hotel up the road where we were staying all together for the night. Henry and I took the kids to a local park to burn off some of their excitable energy, with them taking it in turns on the most rogue swing we’ve ever come across but Clara was in her element on the wonky thing squealing ‘higher Daddy higher.’

We then headed back to the adjoining family rooms and put the kids through baths ready for the next day. They took full advantage of the hotel perks with Seb enjoying a hot chocolate in the bath with a shower cap on- a photo I’m saving for his 18th birthday. We had a meal all together downstairs before settling back up in the room. The girls then took advantage of the double bed we were sharing by pulling out the leftovers and sitting watching some crappy reality TV with half a pizza until I insisted they actually get some sleep.

The next morning was full of so much excitement and so many wonderful moments. The girls and I had our hair done by the most wonderful hairdresser who hid Polly’s scissor happy antics with some lovely plaits. I also had my make up done with mixed reactions from the kids- “Mummy, why does your face look weird?” Thanks girls.

Last minute I bought Seb a pair of black sunglasses to go with his little suit, this turned out to be one of the £5’s I’ve ever spent as he looked incredible in them and wore them from the moment breakfast was done until he finally crashed out hours later. Henry was also incredible and cracked on with every little errand and task I set him that day to make sure things ran as smooth as possible whilst trying to contain 3 very excited children who by that point had made themselves very much at home in that hotel.

It then took 3 of us to help finish dressing the legendary father of the bride, Barry, in his suspenders. Once he was sorted a group of us headed to the local pub for a drink and a chat, Seb joined us whilst Henry stayed behind with the girls and the bridal party. We got a few looks walking down the street in all our finery which only added to the fun. Seb let us know that he was going to be Lord of the confetti as he had been given the special job of handing out the little bags to all the guests- a role he took very seriously especially when the registrar announced this after the ceremony! He would later go on to be Lord of the Dance too with his amazing breakdancing skills gaining him praise for hours worth of fabulous moves.

The ceremony itself was just beautiful and it was so emotional watching Faye the gorgeous bride walk down the aisle. It was such a privilege to be stood next to my little brother watching his reaction too. Simon, my co-best man, and I definitely breathed a sigh of relief though when our important task of handing over the rings was complete.

After the ceremony there was of course the catch up chats with family, some Pimm’s and a few photo’s. We also had the added delight of a little ride on a steam engine named Patricia who was hit with grown ups and the children alike. We then headed for the sit down meal with Henry and I doing some sharing whilst I tried to sort out my nerves before the speeches. I’ve never given any sort of speech so by the time the microphone was handed to me my stomach was doing full somersaults. It was such a privilege though to be given the chance to stand up in front of my brother’s nearest and dearest and not only talk about how wonderful he is but to also recount several embarrassing stories in true sibling style. Faye then got the same treatment from her own brother, Alex. And although my nerves nearly got the better of me I think it went down ok and once they were finished and desert was served Alex and I got some feedback from the guy sitting behind us- “I’ve been to a lot of weddings and the speeches are usually shit but yours were alright.”

I did however hit the fizz on the table the second my bum hit the seat and then moved onto cocktails once the bar was up and running. Polly was not happy with ‘drunk Mummy’ though and before dancing with anyone all night was interrogating them first on their level of drunk. As much as I tried to tell her I wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we were on the stag do she was having none of it and I was struck off her dancing list.

The first dance was a real core memory, even though the wrong song was played, the happy couple just rolled with it with the same carefree and joy they had all the way through and they beckoned us all onto the dance floor fairly quickly for a perfect moment full of so much love.

After this the shoes came off and we danced the night away. Seb, sunglasses still on, told me repeatedly this was ‘the best day of my life.’ The girls raided the dining area and collected up any left behind lolly favours. The dance floor went wild to Pink Pony Club twice. And I had an absolute moment with my incredible Uncle Steve who I hadn’t seen for years when he appeared from nowhere onto the dancefloor once Sandstorm struck up a chord.

With all the crazy dancing though from Seb and I we both sustained injuries. I pulled a muscle in my leg and he ended up with a large blister on his foot so we both spent the next few days limping together on the same leg- definitely worth it though!

I’m not sure what time the children started crashing but when the last song played and I went out onto the patio with Polly who by that point let me back onto her dance approved list, we found Henry had set up a little creche for sleeping children with Clara curled up like a cat on his lap and Seb sprawled across the bench next to him. So we said our goodbyes and roped in the groom to help us carry the children across the grass to the car. Whilst a few stayed behind in gorgeous looking bell tents we’d opted to head back to the premier inn with the hope that the black out curtains would keep the children asleep once the sun rose.

Checking in was quite an experience though at almost 2AM and with Polly now joining the sleeping crew of children. In my full wedding attire still, minus the shoes, I went back and forth with each sleeping child and the bags whilst Henry kept the engine running out the front, much to the amusement of the lovely guy on reception. We then had the task of changing them- still asleep- into PJs. There were a million hair clips to pull from the girls heads but this was no problem compared with Seb’s tie. He had somehow pulled it into a knot that we had no hope of dealing with so back to reception I went to borrow a pair of scissors to cut the bloody thing off.

The next morning and the gamble of leaving the venue had paid off with the children sleeping in till 9:30! By this point though there was only one thing for it and we bundled back in the car to head to the Maccies drive thru, plus the costa too of course.

All in all it was a wonderful wedding and we’re so pleased to officially have the amazing Faye in our family. Thank you to the happy couple for letting us be a part of your special day, we made memories that will last a lifetime.

We definitely had holiday hang over though and have spent much of this week recovering after several late nights. With us coming back home to the town’s folk festival in full swing though this has been slightly harder to do than usual and I think we are only now back to normal! Whatever ‘normal’ is during the summer holidays!

This is a blog post that has been 3 years in the making. It also goes without saying that this post comes with a massive trigger warning. As I come to the end of my time as an ambulance call handler I’m reflecting back on the crazy reality of taking emergency calls. I’ve been shouted at, sworn at, called a c***, called a bitch, I’ve had people threaten to kill me, to rape me, to find me and harm me. But the one consistent question everyone loves to ask- “What’s the worst call you’ve ever taken?” But how do you narrow down the worst moment amongst thousands of awful moments. So, here it is- a snapshot of those ‘worst things’ you’ve been sucked into, whilst doing your job as ‘just’ a call handler…

I’m the one giving CPR instructions for your young child who’s just been hit by a car.

I’m the one counting through your contractions as you go into preterm labour by yourself.

I’m the one listening to your screams for your Daddy who you’ve just watched die in a head on motorbike crash with another fatally injured biker.

I’m the one listening to you call back to complain about your half an hour wait as ‘your’ ambulance has been diverted to a dead 13 year old- which was my call before yours.

I’m the one hearing you beg your wife to wake up as you do CPR in the middle of the night.

I’m the one comforting you as you miscarry twins at 4 in the morning.

I’m the one struggling to find where you are in the forest after you’ve crashed your mountain bike and fallen 30 feet down a ravine.

I’m the one listening to your cries as you explain the ‘concern for welfare call’ from your ex is actually his spiteful way of trying to hash up your custody dispute when he keeps calling us to say you’ve taken an overdose.

I’m the one who hears your mother’s soothing words of love and calm as your 14 year old self lays unresponsive after taking an overdose.

I’m the one praying for a faster ambulance as I hear you bang and clatter on the floor as you have your sixth seizure on the phone to me, as you are alone with no one to check whether you’re still breathing after this one.

I’m the one coaching you through CPR as you beg your 26 year old fiance to start breathing again after they collapsed in front of your eyes.

I’m the one offering words of comfort after you’ve found your elderly mother dead at the bottom of the stairs.

I’m the one finding out that the elderly couple found dead by the cliffs weren’t found at the top as I’d first believed but at the bottom- together.

I’m the one listening to your screams after you’ve found your husband hanging in the garage as you also try and shield your young children from their dead Daddy.

I’m the one you tell a life story to of the family member you’ve just found dead on a tractor on his little plot of land that meant the world to him as you couldn’t move him but needed a comforting voice whilst you waited for practical help to come.

I’m the one hearing your hysterical shout as you’ve come in to find your 22 year old brother dead.

I’m the one listening to the 2 health care workers bring you back from the dead as they walked past you collapsed in the street first thing in the morning on their way to work at the hospital.

I’m the one listening to the horror of you and your teenager who’ve just been attacked by your ex partner with a hammer.

I’m the one who had 4 patients die on one shift- a Christmas eve night shift.

I’m the one hearing the team of medics in the dialysis unit try and save your life after you went into cardiac arrest during a routine procedure.

I’m the one triaging the 4 year old who’s just fallen out a tree and fractured their skull.

I’m the one who hears the small gasp of shock from your carer when she realises you’ve stopped breathing whilst we do a simple stroke diagnostic test.

I’m the one hearing with horror that a 90 year old has been assaulted on their front door.

I’m one of the people too late to help the 33 year old who’s tied a ligature round their neck.

I’m the one hearing you make breakfast for your child with additional needs as you calmly explain that you’ve just found your husband dead on the sofa but you don’t want to bring her world crashing down till you have to.

I’m the one pleading with members of the public to answer my questions as you lay in the road dying having been hit by a lorry.

I’m the one who spends 40 minutes soothing you on the phone as you threaten to take your own life for you to finally reveal it’s because you were raped that morning.

I’m the one hearing your shouts as you find your elderly tenant dead in their armchair with a plastic bag over their head.

I’m the one comforting your kids after you’ve taken a massive overdose.

I’m the one giving you CPR instructions after you found your 8 year old not breathing in their bed.

I’m the one giving you, a 12 year old, instructions on how to help your mummy who’s miscarrying, pouring out blood and passing out.

I’m the one hearing you beg for help as mental health has taken over your family home and your 10 year old has tried to stab their younger sibling.

I’m the one pleading with you for 45 minutes to come down off the bridge.

I’m the one giving instructions to help you as you have a seizure whilst burying your husband.

I’m the one cringing hearing how your dog has bitten a chunk out your throat.

I’m the one arguing with a retired GP who is refusing to start CPR.

I’m the one hearing you screaming as you refuse to let someone control your bleeding after you’ve cut your throat with a razor.

I’m the one waiting for you to come back to the phone with a towel to control the bleeding on your foot to be met with silence and a message from the crew after the line goes to say you died instead.

I’m the one hearing a stranger help you after a motorbike crash that has left your leg hanging on by a thread and your arm bone sticking out.

I’m the one listening to how a child has fallen off a harbour wall to find out the next day that they didn’t make it.

I’m the one who hears the fear in your voice as you tell me your child has fallen 10 feet from a tree landing on their back and now they can’t move or talk.

I’m the one reassuring you after you grabbed the steering wheel and avoided a crash as your Dad had 2 random fits whilst driving.

I’m the one comforting you after your Mum and younger sibling have attacked you with a pole and tried to kill you.

I’m the one arguing with care staff to restart CPR after they found you drowned in a bathtub.

I’m the one giving you CPR instructions for your friend who has choked to death on vomit after you had a wild night to celebrate going sober the next day- that day never came for him.

I’m the one listening to the horrendous story that your Alzheimer’s ridden father has sexually assaulted his wife and between you, you can’t look after him anymore.

I’m the one listening to your sobbing apology after your coke binge is potentially triggering another heart attack, then you tell me it was all triggered from when your partner tried to kill you.

I’m the one who was too late to help when you put a ligature round your neck in the cell block.

I’m the one hearing the strangers trying to help you after a tree has crashed onto your car in a storm.

I’m the one listening to your husband soothe you as your pregnancy comes to an end 4 months too early.

I’m the one desperately trying to get hold of you after hearing your hysterical daughter who’s miles away say you’ve been found unconscious, nobody got hold of you in time.

I’m the one hearing what physically happened to your broken body when the train hit you at the station at peak commuter time.

I’m the one taking details of your rape- you are 7.

I’m the last person you hear as you take your final gasping breaths with your inhaler just out of reach.

I’m the one hearing the screams as you pull out your intestines after stabbing yourself in the stomach.

Writing it all down like that and I honestly don’t know how you pick the ‘worst’ call, the worst moment. They were all pretty bad and how do you say this bad moment is worse than that bad moment. All they do is make you appreciate the ordinary as you see how quick life can change.

It does feel a bit like the end of an era and I will miss my green family. And yes there were some good outcome calls too- like the 2 babies I helped deliver and the countless successful CPR stories. It’s a job that has taught me so much, not just when the actual right time to call an ambulance is! But it’s taught me so much about myself- what I am actually capable of doing, how I can stay pretty calm when the shit hits the fan and how as cheesy as it sounds- I’m actually the person I’d want in an actual crisis. But writing this post out has made me realise I’d probably reached my limit.

So if you ever do find yourself dialling those 3 number 9’s just take a moment to appreciate that the person on the other end of the phone is far from ‘just a call handler.’

So I thought I’d try something a little different with this half term blog, I’ve attempted a ‘day in the life’ version of half term instead- just a bit less detailed than I’d normally do in those posts or this would be a chapter book instead! So here is our fairly standard half term-

Saturday-

Henry is milking and has left before we’ve all woken up (something that is repeated every morning!). The kids and I have a chilled morning, colouring, admin, Polly opens a nail salon and we watch some Modern family.

Henry gets home at lunchtime. The girls and I have eggy bread and fussy Seb has cheese on toast. I then do a bit of studying whilst Henry watches a film with the kids. He then goes back to work as it finally stops raining. The kids and I go for a run around the orchard.

Come home and give them a bath- they quite like an afternoon bath and it means I don’t have to faff round drying everyone’s hair. I then cook tea, toad in the hole tonight. We facetime Uncle Oli and Auntie Faye.

Henry makes it home just before bed. Put them all to bed then downstairs for some chill time.

Sunday-

Henry is milking. We have breakfast then head up to the allotment. Two hours of digging and playing up there.

We head home for lunch, I do the kids a platter of bits for ease. Henry is also home for lunch. I then do some admin, hoover the house, sort washing out, repair some holey clothes. The kids play with every toy they can get their hands on.

Mid afternoon we then take Henry to work where the kids have some calf cuddles and we have a little potter around. We end up leaving Polly behind to milk with Henry and I pop home with the little 2. They play and watch Bluey whilst I cook tea- honey, garlic chicken tonight. We eat ours then go and pick up the milkers. I’ve still not managed to get my driving confidence back to pre-children standards so country lanes in the dark in our giant car are my idea of hell. Cue Seb from the back of the car when I met a car coming the other way down one of these shitty lanes- “this isn’t Taylor Swift! I want Taylor Swift!” Thankfully we made it back down to the farm in one piece and the kids then had a play with the gorgeous excitable farm dog before we head home.

Polly and I have a shower, we put the kids to bed then head downstairs to chill.

Monday-

Henry is milking. We have a casual breakfast. I do a shit ton of ironing whilst the kids watch some Camp Cretaceous. We then get ready to leave and catch the bus to Crealy.

We meet their friends Frankie and Cooper for a great day at the theme park. The kids have a blast going on lots of rides, we catch the pop show after lunch and Toni and I freeze our nips off following our excitable brood round. Henry arrives towards the end of our stint there and gets dragged on a ride immediately whilst Clara and I try out the pirate ship that no-one else will set foot on. I think I left my stomach on there! Clara thought it was brilliant though- “my tummy was laughing.”

We leave the park and drive over to see Nanny and Pops. Lots of cuddles, laughing and 2 cups of tea to warm back up.

When we leave we have to pop to Lidl on the way home as we realise the fridge is empty, this turns into a pizza night. Seb unfortunately drops his plate of noodles on the floor (the strange little rascal doesn’t like pizza) so he has a major tantrum. Tantrum fixed and the boy puts some hoof GP videos on the TV whilst we are eating which is a great mix! We share a giant heated cookie for desert. I ignore the washing up, put the kids to bed, shower then head downstairs to chill.

Tuesday-

Henry is working all day. We have a chilled breakfast. The kids then play whilst I do a shit ton of washing and all that ignored washing up from last night. I have to come in and break up a fight of course- the little 2 this time.

We then head down into town to run some errands. We pop into boots for the pharmacist to have a look at Polly’s leg- she’s got a little skin tag that we just thought another pair of eyes should look at, got some reassurance and then headed down along the seafront to see the massive waves. We bump into some friends to say hi but don’t stay for a play as the kids are having meltdowns between them.

We get home for a snack. Seb bites his tongue providing some more screaming. I sort out yet more washing, then have a cup of tea. I sneak in a bit of studying whilst the kids play Jurassic Park. We then head up to the allotment for an hour and a half. To distract Seb from being a rascal up there I stupidly suggested he bring a couple of dinosaurs to play with. Of course he then lost the smallest of these and threw a full blown meltdown when we couldn’t find him after searching for 10 minutes. I have to drag him home screaming, promising the dinosaur will eventually turn up.

Get home and have a late lunch. We then do some baking- scones and a crunchie slice. They all turn out pretty good to be honest. The kids have another afternoon bath and get in their onesies. They watch Jurassic World whilst I do some more studying. More washing.

I cook tea- sausage and mash tonight. They have a play afterwards and eat some of our homemade treats. I wash up, Henry comes home, we put the kids to bed, I shower then head downstairs to chill.

Wednesday-

Henry is off really early this morning. We have a casual breakfast. I sort out yet more washing whilst the kids are playing more Jurassic Park games with Polly being Blue the raptor whilst Seb tries to train her- the little one is running around squealing “she licked me, I stroked her!” I attempt to do some studying during all this chaos.

We then catch the late morning bus to Honiton. It’s usually a really nice ride with some pretty good views but it’s raining- again. We head to Clark’s to measure Seb’s feet as he’s had a big growth spurt recently but they are thankfully fine. We pick up some birthday presents and cards ready for Henry next week.

Henry then picks us up and we pop to the M&S in the garage to spend a Christmas voucher. At the till we have an oops moment where we find out the voucher can only be used in the actual M&S shops. The little 2 choose this perfect moment to have a full blown fight at the checkout so in a chaotic scene we just pay for the shopping whilst dragging out two feral children. Shouty mummy comes out in the car though and when we head round the corner to Tesco it’s just Polly who’s allowed out and who benefits from a kinder egg. We pick up a couple of bits then have a car picnic before heading home.

I get Henry to try on his birthday present with his eyes closed to make sure it fits- it does. We have a cup of tea, the kids do some colouring then start playing the raptor game again. Henry falls asleep on the sofa. I sneak upstairs to sort some clothes out- rejigging the kids drawers by having a size swap (just moving one lot of clothes into another child’s drawer). During the organise I find 2 missing toys that Polly had been prime suspect in moving (Clara’s cuddly Bingo and Seb’s favourite dog, Alex), they are nestled together under our bed somewhere they definitely didn’t accidentally find themselves so when I ask her about it she just tells me “Don’t you know they are live toys?”

As Henry is leaving to go back to work I get dragged back downstairs to watch a show they are putting on. Several shows and a couple of meltdowns later and they crash and burn to the original Jurassic Park. I do some studying whilst cooking tea for the kids. Chill out then I cook ours (thanks to our mistake earlier at least it’s a fancy nice tea!- steak pie). I do some admin whilst cooking and the boy arrives home just as I plate it up. We eat then put the kids to bed then it’s time to chill.

Thursday-

Henry is working. Our morning starts with several fights before breakfast. Some food seems to do the trick and calms them down. It’s raining again but with a dose of thunder this time so the walk we’d planned is shelved. The kids go back to playing Jurassic Park which is still set up across the floor. There is a lot of shouting though. Clara watches some Bluey whilst the big 2 keep playing. I tackle the yet again ignored from last night washing up. The kids are quiet so I give the kitchen an actual proper clean, do the bins and fix the broken drainpipe. They eat half a cupboard’s worth of snacks.

We head upstairs to do some jobs- I finally remove the nappy change section of their chest of drawers and leave the kids filling this new area after moving all the teddies out of this space. I head into our room to tackle the wardrobes. This is an actual success even with them coming in and trying on anything they could get their hands on! They then start a game of hide and seek, which ends in screaming. I stick on The Day after Tomorrow and make some lunch- cheese on toast for fussy Seb and scrambled egg for the girls and I. Of course Clara then tells me she no longer likes scrambled egg.

I watch half the film then creep away to do some studying. I gain a Clara at the table when it finishes- playing cars/cows next to me whilst the big 2 go back to playing Jurassic Park. Henry gets home just after 3 then leaves again just before 4 to go back to work. The kids have moved onto playing farms. More cows then arrive at the door thanks to a happy clicking Daddy- the room resembles Christmas morning for a while.

Polly starts crafting. I put the kids tea on then get distracted by the freezer which has been winding me up for days after Henry exploded a beer in there leaving a sticky frozen mess so I scrub that clean. The little 2 are blowing bubbles everywhere whilst I do this.

I settle down to do some crocheting whilst they eat tea and they watch some more Camp Cretaceous. I hoover whilst they eat desert. I sack off showers for them tonight and put the start of our tea on, he’s treated us to steak and chips tonight which he finishes off when he comes in the door.

Head upstairs for bedtime, find that Seb for reasons unknown has emptied a tub of toothpaste in the shower. Clean this up (sort of), put them to bed, shower then head downstairs to chill.

Friday-

Henry is milking. We have breakfast, I do some more never ending washing. The kids have a chill out as we’ve got a busy day ahead. Auntie Jen picks us up and we head over to Exmouth to meet the cousins for a couple of hours of soft play fun. It’s a really nice catch up and the kids have a great time. Jen then drops us home, the kids play farm whilst watching Lilo and Stitch. I do a bit of online searching to try and finish Henry’s birthday off.

Henry gets home. We put wellies on and head through the very wet Byes to go to the dentist, which is surprisingly a success. Henry then picks us up and we head to Lidl for a food shop which is also surprisingly a success. We pop into Waitrose to get the last couple of bits before heading home. I put the shopping away and put tea on- it’s a pizza night. We catch up with last week’s Gladiators together which is a family favourite.

Head upstairs and give the kids a shower before putting them to bed. I then shower before heading back downstairs to chill.

Saturday-

Henry is milking. I convince/blackmail Polly to actually sleep in till 7. The little 2 and I have more of a lay in after that. Breakfast. The kids then play farm whilst I clean the kitchen AGAIN! I sort more washing out then round them all up to leave the house.

We have a puddle walk down to the sea and spend the rest of the morning playing on the beach. They all get soaked of course. We chat to some friends on the way home and head back through the puddly Byes.

We get home, passing Henry on the way out as he heads down to the gym. I strip the kids and add to the washing pile. We have lunch, I clean up a milkshake spillage and the kids are playing farm again. Henry comes home and I leave him watching another Stitch film with the little 2 whilst Polly and I head up to the allotment after hair-drying her wellies.

We spend an hour up at the allotment, Polly of course finds the missing dinosaur within 30 seconds. Once we get home Henry leaves for another milking taking the smallest apprentice who’s been asking him every 5 minutes since lunch when is it time to go!

The big 2 watch a Netflix film whilst I study. I put tea on- sausage and mash requested by the smallest one earlier. I then join the big 2 on the sofa for some cuddles whilst we watch some Camp Cretaceous. I put the big 2 to bed and hang around for the other 2 to get back. 10 minutes later they come through the door and eat some tea with Clara chatting away about all the lambs she’s played with. I then take her upstairs and we have a shower. I have to sneak her back downstairs to dry her hair before putting her to bed. Head downstairs to chill but 10 minutes later she wanders back downstairs whilst we’re watching Schitt’s Creek, she curls up in my arms and falls asleep like a cat ironically with the cat. I bail upstairs after one episode and head to bed with her in tow.

Sunday-

Henry has taken Polly milking this morning. The little 2 and I are very lazy getting going. Seb asks to watch funny animal videos on the TV and is soon howling with laughter whilst Clara plays Barbie’s at the farm. We have breakfast and a very chilled morning. They do some dancing and play with the cat.

The milkers return just before midday. We have lunch which is another grazing board then Clara and I get ready to leave. We go for a little playdate which is really lovely, we get soaked of course though thanks to the never ending rain.

When we get home the kids are all a bit caput. Hot chocolate and Moana to the rescue. Henry goes back to work. Polly has a bath. I do some crocheting. Polly throws a tantrum to end all tantrums. We keep the Disney vibe going and watch the original Jungle Book afterwards.

I then cook tea- sticky chicken and rice. The never ending washing continues. The kids play more farming games whilst I wash up and make lunches for tomorrow. I lay out uniforms and put the kids to bed. I head back downstairs and Henry comes back through the door, time to chill.

So there it is- a typically average half term, although I realise I didn’t actually work at all but we did manage a few nice activities and definitely had the chill out time we all needed to reset.

The last few weeks have flown by in the usual chaos of our family style. Today the kids have turned the living room into Jurassic Park again so I’m taking the few minutes of relative calm to get back on here. It was Seb’s turn to go milking with Daddy this morning, the girls each went yesterday. I took the girls up to the allotment for a morning digging, we then went to see Grandparents before doing the food shop, so I’m keen for a chilled afternoon anyway! The digging is the first step in getting going with ‘allotmenting’ finally after a long run of bad weather. It’s quite a project getting it ready to start planting but the kids are excited just by this prospect so we can’t wait to get on with some actual growing fairly soon.

The other weekend we headed back to Crealy theme park which proved a lot of fun. The little one is finally big enough to go on all the rides and we’ve finally found our thrill seeker! I’m not sure why I’m so surprised that it’s the feral little beast. She was in her element- “I’m gonna go on that one, and that one, oh and that one,” the whole way round.

The small one did pull a really wild feat the other day too. It was the middle of the night- the literal middle of the night, I had gone for a wee and I didn’t turn any of the lights on as I don’t want to wake any children up, or myself too much. So I was casually sat in the pitch black having a wee when Clara came wandering down into the bathroom and without a word took the cup from the sink, poured herself a cup of water, drank it then wandered off again. I was sat in silence, still in the dark and now I’m still baffled as to how she managed this without spilling a drop or walking into anything? Not sure if she was sleep walking or if she’s secretly a ninja? Either one would be a valid reason for her.

Seb has been on top form with some of his conversations recently. He’s learning about the geography of the UK at school and has been telling us all the facts he’s learnt and has enjoyed pointing out things on the globe Polly got for Christmas. My favourite chat so far was about the English Channel. I told him that some people swim across it as it’s not too far, Seb’s response- “What don’t they know they’re meant to catch a boat?” He was still shocked a few minutes later and followed it up with- “What about all the sea animals? How will they swim with all of them?”

This was a slightly more cheery chat than the one that came a couple of days later when we were walking into town and he blurted out- “Mummy, when are you going to die? In 20 years?” Urm well no mate I was planning on hanging round for a bit longer than that. He then went on to tell me that I would need to do more exercise and eat more healthy to achieve that. Thanks mate, I’ll take note of that.

Polly has introduced a new dessert that really wouldn’t fit that criteria but it looks amazing nether the less. I told her we had some scones and cream so she could make herself a cream tea if she wanted. She took it upon herself to use squirty cream instead of the clotted and made herself a giant cream tea instead that she was very proud of.

Polly has been taking her trips up to the farm very seriously and loves anything cows at the moment, from setting up all the cows in the living room to milk them, to watching YouTube videos with Henry. I did have to smile the other day when they were sat together watching hoof GP videos, chatting away about how he was helping the cows, also it blew me away how much she takes in and actually understands about all these farming practices. Just don’t watch them when you’re eating if you do take a trip onto YouTube to see what these videos consist of!

A difficult watch that the kids keep putting me through involves one of their favourite films at the moment- The Impossible. Yes I know, not your classic kids pick, but the kids are fascinated by the concept of the tsunami and I think it engages them as it focuses on the kids themselves getting through a truly shit situation. Of course it’s a bloody good film, but oh my gosh it hits different watching it now I’ve got my own kids and I sit blubbing through most of it.

A slightly more enjoyable viewing experience comes each week when we catch up on Gladiators. I love how much the kids have got into this. They cheer everyone on and act out various different games. This morning up at the allotment Clara was running laps round our plot shouting ‘Alligator ready!’ each time she went past the gate- yes she means Gladiator but Alligator is proving a hilarious mispronunciation.

The other day they got so into playing Gladiators that they gave themselves Gladiator names, Polly was ‘Tiger,’ Clara was ‘Clara-bear’ and Seb stole the show with ‘The Bebinator!’ They then proceeded to do various different poses before having a weightlifting competition with tins of spaghetti. Maybe I’ll join in next time and relieve Seb’s fears about my numbered years.

On that note I should probably move, the never ending washing pile is calling out to me again and I could do with another cup of tea.

Well hello new year. I thought I better follow through on my last blog promise of actually keeping this page updated with a little look back at our Christmas shenanigans. Although it does feel like Christmas was a hundred years ago already.

The build up did feel a bit reduced this time as the kids broke up from school so late- then spent an eternity off in freezing January which definitely seems like a smart choice. We did discover a new Christmas film in the form of ‘That Christmas’ which Clara became obsessed with, although she kept calling it ‘Charlie’ which proved for an interesting scene the first time she asked for it like this as I had no idea which Charlie she was referring to! Clearly mischievous Charlie was her favourite character which is quite apt considering how much mischief the smallest child gets up to. For example, on one of our last walks home of the year she parked her scooter up next to a garden full of Christmas decorations, leant over their garden wall and bit into a giant plastic candy cane the same size as her. Polly shouted (brilliantly drawing attention we didn’t need) then the little beast proceeded to stick her tongue out in an attempt to lick the bloody thing instead. I yanked her back and put her back on the scooter and then found myself giving her a lecture I honestly didn’t think I would be giving to a 4 year old- no we don’t eat Christmas decorations no matter how good they look.

Once the kids did finally break up we cracked on with some Christmas activities including the traditional Santa visit. We went to a grotto hosted by some friends of ours and it was fab. Crafting, biscuit decorating and a snow machine, equals very happy children. The kids of course were very chatty with the main man himself and gave us plenty of giggles. From Clara threatening to eat all his biscuits under the tree, to Seb declaring that Henry and I should be on the nice list as we clean up after him. It was a very chilled afternoon which we all needed, followed by fish and chips with Nanny and Pops at their house.

This year for the first time in forever I was actually off work on Christmas Eve which made a nice change. I took the kids to a nativity service at the church which proved entertaining. The big 2 burnt out very quickly and curled up on chairs choosing to watch instead of engage, but Clara was in her element. She was stood up on her chair singing and dancing to every song. They all came alive again at the end with the arrival of lots of snowballs in every direction prompting a giant snowball fight that I had to drag them away from.

Henry milked Christmas morning and afternoon so our morning looked slightly different than normal but the kids took it in their stride. Although Polly did get confused in the middle of the night and had to be returned back to her bed. Then at 4:40AM I caught the big 2 creeping downstairs claiming they were confused about the time. They both got marched back to their room very quickly. At about 6 though, 3rd time lucky for the big 1, they got the right sort of time and came bouncing into our bed with their stockings. It did feel a bit weird opening them without Daddy, but they had enough in them to distract them and we took lots of photos for him. We then headed downstairs when I realised I was going to need to carry on that distraction for another 3 hours before he was home. So, of course we watched That Christmas again and the classic Father Christmas with the Snowman, had some breakfast and waited patiently.

Once he was home and showered the usual Christmas morning chaos ensued and they were all very happy with their gifts. Henry and I then did a bit of sharing the lunch load. I had prepped all the veg the day before, he cooked then I washed up afterwards. We did have an absolute hoot during lunch with the crackers providing some interesting jokes and trivia. Seb concerned us only slightly with his reply to ‘What is taller when younger and smaller when older?’… ‘A dead body’ apparently. Not sure where that came from. And then he got caught out by the beautifully brilliantly confusing English language that meant he got ‘wind’ and ‘wind’ mixed up, so confidently gave the wrong answer to his riddle of ‘What passes in front of the sun making a sound but no shadow?’ Poor boy, it took us a few moments to work out that it was ‘wind’ as is in the weather and not ‘wind’ as in a wind-up toy like he’d read out.

We headed up to a little family do on the Sunday, which provided a lot of fun, but apart from that we had a very low-key Christmas, which I think we probably needed to be honest. We did attempt a New Year’s Eve thing with the kids, but it sort of failed. Previously, I’ve worked and Henry has done the little cheeky fake new year countdown with them and got away with it. This year, Polly was not to be fooled. After doing a little countdown with the help of the Sydney fireworks on YouTube, I declared it was time for bed, then Polly said she didn’t believe it was midnight already. She was having none of it and then started shouting ‘show me the time!’ In the end we came clean and told her she really wasn’t missing out on much as we’d just be doing the same thing again in a few hours time. When we reassured her that we probably wouldn’t even stay up to see the year in she finally conceded and went to bed. Henry followed through with this promise, I however did not. I was binge watching Black Doves and looked at the time at 12:15 before debating watching another one, decided against it before realising I’d just missed midnight anyway.

To be fair, they did have a blast in the build up to the countdown fail with some crazy dancing with the help of a YouTube dance party. A highlight of this came when Polly asked for the ‘eye of the tiger’ song- I thought she meant ‘Roar’ by Katy Perry, but no, she meant the actual ‘Eye of the tiger’ song and when I sacked off the pop Princess for the classic she shouted- ‘yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!’

As mentioned, for some unbeknown reason the kids were off school until Wednesday this week, which proved a bit of a stretch when it was cold and they’d very much had enough of each other’s company the second the new year was welcomed in. So, whenever it was dry we headed out even if it was for an hour or so just to see if fresh air would do some parenting for me- it worked most of the time to be fair. You feel a bit less guilty then when you come back home and veg under a blanket with a hot chocolate and a film which usually followed any walk.

Polly did give us a laugh on one of these walks down to the river. The kids were launching rocks into the river, one of their favourite outdoor activities, when she turned to me and asked how to skip stones. At the same time she launched a rock in without much thought and of course the bloody thing went skipping across the surface. ‘Like that’ I laughed back at her. She then spent a happy half hour trying to see how many more she could skip and proved herself a lot better than me so I think in future she can teach me!

Seb had a little milestone in the holidays too when he finally got his first wobbly tooth. It wasn’t very wobbly so I was assuring him it would be at least another week before it popped out then of course my kids proved me wrong again. It popped out into his hand yesterday afternoon walking out the school gates when he was eating a pack of cheddars. He was delighted. I on the other hand was frantically trying to figure out where the hell to put the thing whilst juggling 3 bags and a feral 4 year old on a scooter. So in the end it got bundled up into the cheddar wrapper for safekeeping. Luckily it made it home safe and was swapped out in the middle of the night with a 50p that he’s very pleased with.

Anyway, that’s my Christmas wrap-up, I need to crack on with bedtime which I’m sure will be a typically interesting event as I still haven’t been able to replace the bathroom bulb as the one we need isn’t in stock still- this means a candlelit bath for the kids which will absolutely not be as romantic and idyllic as it sounds! Wish me luck…

It’s that time of year where people like to do a look back and review of the past 12 months, so I just took a peek back at my blog and I’m grading myself ‘shit’. It’s probably the worst year I’ve had for posting, so apologies. I will attempt to do better in the new year but anyone who’s read before knows how much I loath the whole ‘new year, new me’ bollocks, so don’t get your hopes up that next year will be much better! I will of course try but anyway in the meantime here’s a few little anecdotes from the last few weeks to attempt to finish on a high.

Last week included both the little two starring in their nativities which is always a highlight in the Christmas calendar. Clara gave us all a giggle as a camel and Seb took part in his last ever as a visitor. Seb went back in the evening for a second show that I couldn’t attend (I watched the afternoon performance before anyone jumps down my throat) which meant he had to be left down at the church with a couple of the mum’s offering to give him an extra wave which I’m very thankful for. I’d given him a little pep talk about being brave which he very much took to heart and one of his teacher’s reported to me the next morning that while waiting for me to collect him after the show he was walking round saying ‘I’m so proud of myself!’

The nativities also mean there has been a lot of Jesus chat amongst the children, with my favourite snippet from a conversation coming from Clara- “he was a good boy.” I’m not quite sure what prompted this declaration from my youngest.

She has bought home a little catch phrase from school that she keeps quoting to her siblings every time they do anything remotely naughty… “sharing, caring and kind.” I’m sure she’s had this quoted to her several times at school for it to be so ingrained in her brain but it is saving me from some parenting at least as she’s getting in there before I get a chance.

We kick started the Christmas shenanigans a few weeks ago when we headed down town to watch the town Christmas lights being turned on. The kids were their usual feral selves, although we did get 15 minutes of calm when we went to the toy museum in town that was all kitted out in the dark with pretty lights. A highlight quote from that evening came curtesy of Seb on our way down. He was admiring the shop’s window displays and particularly liked one with the statement of- “they did such a good job.” From the mouth of a 6 year old with no sarcasm this had me howling.

We also attempted some Christmas crafting a couple of weeks ago. I had the kids painting (always a risk I know!), some little wooden trees to give out as presents. Surprisingly this actually went down without too much drama- I should have known it was too good to be true. Cue the cat. Afterwards I’d put the paint palate on the kitchen side, ironically to keep it away from the feral 4 year old, sadly the cat in his great wisdom chose this as the perfect place to sit. Luckily I found him when he was still sat on the paint so roped the girls in to help me keep the situation contained. I wrapped a tea towel round him and ran upstairs to the bathroom with both girls following, gave them strict instructions to keep the bathroom door closed and then I started running a bath. Of course one of them opened the door and Pickle took his chance and vaulted. I had to chase him and recapture him with the tea towel before I could finally get him in the bath. Unfortunately whatever was in the bloody paint meant it wouldn’t come out and the poor sod still has blue feet now.

Clara had us all in stitches a couple of weeks ago when we popped round to see Nanny and Pops after school. She was sat cuddling Nanny, then she started poking her tummy and asked ‘when is your baby coming out?’ Face palm moment. Luckily Nanny has a good sense of humour and after having a good laugh she explained to Clara that she had actually had 5 babies before. Of course the cheeky little sod then askes when those 5 are coming out. Second face palm moment. Clara then proceeded to crawl up Nanny’s top and lay herself across her tummy and pretend to be a baby in her tummy. She stayed tucked up in there for about an hour, occasionally popping her head up through the neck hole to shout various instructions at us all- ‘Pop-pops you need to get Nanny a blanket’ ‘You need to go and get the car to take her to hospital!’ She then finished the whole charade by insisting Nanny ‘give birth’ to her. It was an eventful evening full of lots of laughter.

The kids have got really into another ‘grown up’ programme in the form of Friday Night Dinner again, which is also providing much laughter. They find Jim hilarious but have also taken to calling each other ‘puss-face’ and ‘piss-face’ which I’ve had to limit to them to doing only in the house. The sibling antics have unfortunately rubbed off on them too though. The other night Polly said she was getting herself a glass of milk and rather suspiciously asked Seb if he wanted one too- I should have clocked then that something was up. He obviously said yes so she came back 2 minutes later with a glass for each of them. Seb said thank you and took a sip which he promptly spat out crying. Turns out the little buggar had put salt in it like the boys do in the programme. I will say fair play it is a good prank, it was also completely unexpected so could I keep a straight face whilst trying to tell her off- of course not. I literally had to face the other way and wave for Henry to take over instead whilst I excused myself from the room to laugh freely in the kitchen. Bloody kids.

And that will have to be all as I’ve just had to pull the scissors out of Clara’s hands and give her a telling off too. She was hiding under the table at my feet and I thought she was just cutting up some paper but she just stuck her head out saying “do you want to watch me cutting my hair?” Absolutely not! Sadly she’d already had a go without an audience. She’s tried to cut herself a fringe by the looks of it so I’ll be off now to try and see the extent of the damage. Bloody kids twice over.

But thanks for sticking with me for as I say the worst blogging year I’ve had. Merry Christmas and remember- don’t accept any drinks from any of my beastly children!

Life has been a bit more of a hectic blur than usual recently which explains why it’s been a disgustingly long time since my last post. I just flicked through the notes section on my phone and found the plan for an ‘end of the summer holiday’ post that I never got round to writing and now we’re in October (how the hell has that happened?!) it does feel a bit late to write that one up. So, I thought I’d just do a little catch up post incorporating some highlights from that intended post with the snippets from the whirlwind that’s been the last month or so.

The summer holidays bought their usual dose of chaos and sadly not much actual summer. We enjoyed folk week in the town which included a visit from Uncle Oli and Auntie Faye. There was a lot of dancing, some drinking and plenty of crafting from Polly. Clara did have an absolute crisis on the last day of the festival though when she dropped her treasured Sweep cuddly toy in the river. He was heroically rescued by one of the trawler guys on a fishing rod which provided quite a scene.

After the festival finished we had a bit of an up and down remainder of the holiday. There was a bit of a slump in the middle where I felt like I was the one who’d fallen in the river. We pulled things back after having an adventure day when I dragged them up into the woods for a mammoth walk all the way along to the coastal path and down to the beach- they walked several miles and it was one of our best days in the whole holiday.

Sadly, the next day we went back down with a crash when I got the news my Grandad had passed away. He had been poorly but we were due up at the end of the holiday so thought we would make it up in time (back in the homeland of Suffolk). Unfortunately, he deteriorated very quickly and there was no chance I would make it up in time to say goodbye, plus the kids needed me here so I didn’t even try and make the journey up. He was a very proud and at times a very stubborn man, but he was also full of love and loved making the kids laugh. I’m not sure if even now I’ve fully got my head round the fact that he’s not with us anymore, but I know my stubborn streak is from him (Henry likes to remind me of this) so really he’ll always be around as my stubbornness seems to grow with each year I age!

In fact Polly gave me some wonderful food for thought on my birthday at the very start of the holiday with this gem: “Isn’t is funny how we celebrate birthdays… it’s just celebrating another year closer to death.” Thanks child, maybe don’t write that in anyone’s birthday card.

A few other highlights included watching Mama Mia 600 times with Clara giving us a concert performance each time- it did make us laugh that Super Trooper kept turning into Twinkle twinkle little star, she clearly just needs some more practice. She gave us another laugh when playing down by the river and a butterfly spooked her which caused her to fall in the river and then shout her summer catch phrase of “Oh heck!”

We did enjoy our little trip up to Suffolk when we did go though. We had a hilarious visit to a little farm where we got to feed the goats, had great fun blackberry picking and Clara turned herself into a smurf with the help of a bubble-gum ice cream!

The start of the new school year has also bought us into our next chapter of parenting as our lockdown baby started reception. She still feels so little to be at school but at the same time she was so ready to start and is absolutely loving going. She skips in with a massive smile on her face and last Friday didn’t even say goodbye!

This shift in our week has meant that the kitchen has benefitted from a massive purge clean, I spent a day putting up bunk beds and reorganising the kids bedroom and I’ve also been able to get back out walking. Although I also did some falling down on my last big walk when I slipped on the loose rocks in the woods, up a hill, in the middle of nowhere. The bruise on my arse was absolutely spectacular and kept growing for the next week. I also had an incident where I misjudged what looked like a perfectly safe grassy field- it was in fact a massive bog where I ended up ankle deep with again not a soul in sight.

The last couple of weekends have been jam-packed with a car show, the town carnival and the start of the science festival. There’s also been plenty of ‘back-to-school-tiredness-tantrums’ and a week long stint off school for the big one when a stomach bug knocked her sideways, so it’s not all been Instagram picture worthy smiles and joy.

Then yesterday, Henry and I celebrated our ‘together anniversary.’ We ‘celebrated’ by putting the kids to bed and cackling our way through one of favourite series’ to binge watch together- Motherland. 16 years is a long time, and it’s even more scary to think that after next year’s I’ll have spent more of my life with him than without him. That makes me feel even older than when Seb called me an old witch!

Anyhow that concludes the highlights of the last couple of months. I’ll try not to leave it that long again but we all know that’s bullshit and the next post will likely be a Christmas one! Although we’ve already started on the Christmas films so actually that might not be as far away as you might assume.

As the kids have finally broken up for summer it’s actually dawned on me that we’ve got six long weeks ahead of us. The weather still doesn’t seem to have realised it’s summer yet and we’ve started off strong with a sickness bug in the house already. Anyway last summer holiday we felt a bit battered on all fronts- Henry worked a lot so I was running solo a lot, we had a trip at each end of the holidays so the middle bit was a bit cash strapped and the weather was shit. So, basically I had to go back to basics and thought I’d record what we actually did so I could go back for ideas if need be on future summer holidays. So here’s 6 weeks of simple, varied ideas that got us through the last holibobs:

Baking. Even just a banana loaf can keep them occupied, or those little box sets from the shop.

Get them involved with any holiday prep- testing air beds, chairs, wagon etc. We spent a whole afternoon with the air beds set up in the living room pretending to camp before actually going camping!

Tie dye t-shirt. Polly still loves wearing hers.

Movie day-great for a rainy/sick day, let them take it in turns picking and spend a day curled up on the sofa together.

Throwing rocks in river. We did this a lot!

Lego.

Park.

Meet up with friends.

Connect 4- this was our favourite game last summer and Clara got pretty good.

Rainbow science lab experiments- it was a set Polly had for her birthday, it had so many different bits that we came back to it several days over.

Brio trains- see who can make the biggest track right round the room.

Indoor picnic.

Crafting- I know this can be hell at times but the older they’ve got the easier it’s got as they need less help with the actual making, the tidying up they haven’t fully figured out yet!

Floor is lava- one of Clara’s favourites, she’ll play it with cushions, blankets, books, anything she can get her hands on.

Impromptu beach play.

Ice creams- either a proper Mr Whippy with a flake or just a box of mini milks from Lidl, it’s all a treat to the kids.

Little cafe lunch- even just a sausage roll and a milkshake.

Free local events- we’re lucky in our little town to have a folk festival which provides a full week of activities & entertainment, most of it free.

Watch a game show and join in- Polly started to get right into catchphrase last year and now all 3 of them love watching it.

Hot choc and marshmallows- the way the weather is going this will definitely be one we do a lot again this year.

Make a den.

Barbies dress up- put on a show, act a story out or just leave them to their own devices.

Outdoor chalk on patio.

Walk before bed/after tea, burns off some energy before the bedtime routine kicks in. River play- in and around, given the chance for mine it’ll always be ‘in.’

Polly set up a restaurant many times last year.

Read a chapter book together- Harry Potter was our choice last summer, right now we’re several stories into ‘The Chronicles of Narnia’ with Polly reading big chunks to us all at bedtime.

Colouring books- I actually did a stock check last week and found about 20 so I’ll be pushing these a lot this summer.

Pretend tea party.

Bracelet making.

Impromptu evening walk in the woods.

Blackberry picking.

Library- look for activities, events. Summer reading challenge.

Take some books, a picnic blanket and go to the local gardens or park.

Dress up- the girls love putting on 6 different outfits and putting on concerts for us.

Beauty salon, paint nails etc.

Catch the bus- look out for deals like £2 stagecoach deal.

Museum- again check out the free activities.

And my favourite one- let them get bored. It’s amazing to see what they come up with when left to their own devices plus it gives us 10 minutes peace!

So, here’s to six crazy weeks of endless snacking, probably some fighting, but hopefully a lot of fun again…

The last weeks of the school year seem to be flying past, but the next 3 weeks are absolutely rammed and my brain is like mush so I thought I’d do a post now as I’m likely to not get another chance till the kids actually break up.

There is so much to juggle in the next couple of weeks and this might be why so many mums right now look ready to collapse. Our last weeks include: (technically) 3x sport’s days (the big 2’s is split across a whole day with various different timings to remember), 2x school trips, a summer fun day, a folk festival afternoon, a family picnic, a teddy bear picnic, a water play afternoon, a home visit from Clara’s new teacher, new class day, a non-uniform day (with tombola prizes to bring in), 2x dentist appointments, dance classes, Brownies, toddler groups (these are the last ones which as per my last post are going to be a bit emotional), work, half a text book to read and somewhere in all that I’ve got an essay to write. I honestly think if I get 1 more email from the school I might just run off into the hills and not come back.

Talking about emails from the school, Monday was the day we found out what new classes the kids will actually be in come September- always a tense moment. This meant that whilst driving home from work my phone went so mental I thought someone had died- I had about 40 notifications from various group chats as well as the half a dozen emails from the school. When I got home and then joined in on these conversations my brain struggled to keep up- 11, I actually counted 11 conversations on the go at the same time as well as trying to work out what classes mine were actually going to be in (I think I can put this on my CV as another example of the extreme multi-tasking skills parenting has given us!). The good news is mine seem happy with the choices and the new class day they had a couple of days later was met with general positivity. Seb did have a bit of a meltdown when he realised he would be leaving some of his friend’s behind to go up to the bigger site, but he’s been reassured knowing that they’ll all be together again next year anyway and some of his friends went up last year so he’ll see them in the meantime.

I had another successful big walk with the kids last week. I’m trying to get them a bit more resilient so I’ve been taking them on some bigger walks up the various hills that surround our little town. On Saturday we went out adventuring for about 3 hours and they were absolute troopers- Clara only needed a little 5 minute piggy back. We did have a bit of a drama when we got home though. We knew there had been ticks about as we’d had to brush them off us a few times whilst walking through the woods, so when we got home we did a full strip and found we’d bought 3 little fuckers home with us. Polly offered to get the one out my back, which I politely declined and told her I’d wait till Henry got home! Clara had 2 on her, the one on her back came out fairly easily but the one in her armpit proved to be a rascal like her. I tickled her by accident with the tweezers whilst trying to get it out and she flinched so only half of it came out. We took a little trip down to the chemist who said not to worry too much as it should work its way out, but luckily after a second attempt an hour later the little sod’s head came out and she seems absolutely fine.

We’ve carried on our thing of watching some more different films, they loved watching The Parent Trap and laughed so much at Dr Dolittle. We’ve also worked our way through most of the Pirates of the Caribbean films. This did trigger a hilarious conversation between Seb and Polly when watching the third one. They watched in pure horror at the last scene where Will and Elizabeth are finally enjoying a raunchy night on a desert island and Will kisses her leg and we got treated to comments such as- “Eeeewwww he’s kissing her leg!” “Urgh why does she like that?!” Eww would you like someone to kiss your leg like that?!” Henry and I had to look away from each other as we were both howling with silent laughter- please tell me this hilarious innocence lasts for a few more years!

Anyway time to sign off as I’m meant to be doing the washing up whilst Polly ‘teaches’ Seb to play chess and Clara watches the new episodes of Unicorn Academy for the 16th time. This chess game definitely needs loosely supervising though as I can see the board being tipped over monopoly style as she is blatantly screwing him over.

This afternoon I walked back into the house and was greeted with a sight that made me take a moment. It seems a fairly typical thing, just 2 scooters stood by the front door. But this is where a pushchair has stood every day for the almost 8 years that we’ve lived in this house.

This morning Henry took the last one we’ve owned to the dump. Yes, Clara hasn’t been in it for weeks as she’s outgrown it really, and yes it was broken anyway so it needed to go. But still, this seems to have been the tipping point in my realisation that our pre-school era is rapidly approaching its end.

Don’t get me wrong leaving the house after lunch today with a shopping bag in hand, keys and phone in my pocket and a scooting child was a lot easier than days gone past when I would have had one in the carrier and one in the pushchair as well as the scooting child, along with a bag or 2, 6 different toys, several snacks and usually my last nerve. But I still had a pang of sadness as I followed the scooting giant baby after walking past the missing pushchair for a second time, things really are about to change in a huge way for our little family.

And I know it’s a change that was always there looming in the distance, but it always felt so far away and now Henry has literally counted down the weeks till we can say- ‘all our children are at school now.’ I’m blotting in from my brain so you’ll have to ask him yourself how many it actually is. But I do know this last little stretch of the summer term will see a lot of ‘lasts’ before a big final ‘first.’ So, I’m feeling a bit mixed about the whole thing.

It’s also almost 8 years ago that I tentatively set foot into my first toddler group. It was up at the children’s centre and I was so nervous and really didn’t know what to expect. I just knew that I really needed to make a few Mum friends to have by my side on the next chapter of our family life. Jenny, one of the Mum’s (incidentally one of the nicest Mum’s I’ve ever met) was the first person to speak to me- turns out she was the first person a lot of us spoke to as like I say she’s a nice person who spotted an anxious first time Mum and decided to strike up a conversation. It worked. Pretty soon I fell into a routine with baby Polly, we went to a different group nearly every day- sometimes 2 in one day. And fairly quickly I had a little group of fellow Mum’s who I’m happy to say are still some of my most important friends now. We’ve raised our little ones together, watched them turn into big ones and popped our several more between us. To put it simply- I found my tribe.

As I say, these groups have been a huge part of our pre-school era and I’m nothing short of devastated that pretty soon I won’t be writing them on the calendar anymore as they’ve been such a staple to our lives. I’ve laughed, cried, given and received plenty of hugs, I’ve gossiped, felt my heart burst with emotions on several occasions, bought home enough crafts to resemble the Art Attack studio and made so many memories. Most importantly I and all the kids have made friends for life.

There are so many other aspects to say goodbye to as this door closes. The little cheeky lunch dates, the coffee catch ups, the trips to a quiet soft play, the play on the deserted beach. Yes, I know I’ll still be able to do these things- but it’ll be different. The structure to the week will shift and these things become a bit more tricky.

But, I know it’s not all sadness. Clara is so excited to start school. Henry and I are looking forward to being able to go on cheeky lunch dates where we can maybe have an uninterrupted conversation. I’ll be able to study more. And of course watching them grow up is the biggest privilege I have in my life. And there will be other exciting milestones, the next year will bring more nativity plays, Polly’s first residential trip, sports days. And yes having them at school for such a chunk of the week does make me appreciate the time when they are home so I guess having them all at school will only reinforce that appreciation. And instead of the cheeky lunch dates there might be more cheeky after school beach/ice cream trips. And the coffee catch ups might just be more me without a child in tow. And the deserted beach plays might have to be earlier in the day on a weekend instead of during school hours. And maybe we’ll just avoid soft play for a while!

So, all in all there’s a lot of different emotions weaving through me at the moment, so apologies if I seem a little off if I’m asked about my littlest baby starting school. I’m happy/sad and sad/happy all at the same time. All I do know for sure is that I’m going to soak up every one of these ‘last’ moments as it really does feel like 5 minutes ago that we bought home the biggest baby in a car seat, plonked her down in the living room and said “shit, what do we do now?”