I’ve been slacking on the blog front again, I did actually write up 2 blogs during the summer holidays but never got round to finishing them, let alone publishing them- oops. The summer holidays themselves feel an absolute whirling blur of a lifetime ago and the rate September is flashing past it will be Christmas before we know it (what a shame!).

The back to school haze has definitely been a shock to the system for all concerned and I’m getting by on an hour by hour basis at the moment- just until we get properly back into the swing of things, but for now I’m relying on phone reminders and the usual 78 emails a day from the school.

The great summer holiday itself was definitely a mixed bag. Don’t get me wrong we had a lot of fun and absolutely made some core memories however the weather really wasn’t great, in the words of Seb “it’s been a bit shit Mummy.” There was also a lot of whining and fighting, constant pestering for snacks and the cherry on top was Clara learning a new phrase- “fucking hell” which yes she is saying in context. Great.

Seb has also come out with some other hilarious comments recently including- “Oh no, my arms have lost their strong.” And the fact his new word of choice is ‘cranky’ from – “oh dear she’s a bit cranky” when someone has a strop near him to “oh that doggy is a bit cranky” when a dog woofed near him the other day. But I’m still reeling from Polly a while back with her- “Mummy, your kids are being really annoying,” (you said it mate, not me).

But now it seems Autumn has well and truly landed so I’m busy trying to do a glove inventory whilst boxing up summer dresses and muttering “for fuck’s sake” a lot as each time I put washing outside I have to drag it back in half an hour later thanks to…. oh the irony of all irony there- I had to pause to go get the bloody washing back in and lost my train of thought!

Parenting this week has also had a few interesting moments this week and some of the phrases that have left my mouth have left even me a bit shell shocked… “No, we don’t put dice up our bums.” “I don’t care if you are pretending to be a Pokémon, you absolutely are not to use the cat’s litter tray and if I wake up in the morning to find you’ve laid a turd in there then you are absolutely responsible for getting it out.” As I say, it’s been a chaotic week or so.

We’ve also had some changes to the after school schedule. Polly’s gone up in the world of Guiding to Brownies and Seb has joined the dancing world by starting a dance class- they both love the new additions, especially Seb who keeps showing us his new moves. Clara is also doing more nursery sessions which although they have knackered her a bit at times, she’s pretty happy about- she has a lot of fun there and particularly loves all the outside play (the 3 loads of bagged up dirty outfits was testament to that the other day- but hey that’s what I have a washing machine for!).

The extra child free time during the day is proving to be a bit of a novelty, this morning I went for a big walk along the coastal path, it’s given me a chance to just sit and read without interruptions, I’ve been able to purge the toy boxes without things being snuck back in that are suddenly “my most favourite toy in the world” even though they forgot it existed 2 years ago. It is still crazy how quick it goes and before you know it you’ve got a little person stood in front of you shouting that you’ve put the wrong Waffle doggy on and then shouting when the ‘correct’ one isn’t downloading fast enough.

On that note I’m going to wrap this up, Waffle doggy is honestly the most distracting thing the children suggest watching- mainly as I want to punch Simon in the face every time he opens his stupid mouth to say anything but I do also need to do the jobs I neglected this morning in my bid for freedom up in the woods. I’ll try not to leave it quite so long again.