Another week of school ticked off and I can’t quite believe we’re actually almost at the end of another school year. It’ been a bit of a blur of a week where I’ve not quite known what day of the week it actually is most of the time. Today included a trip into Exeter to pick up a few essentials. We went on the bus as Clara thinks this is a real treat and to be honest the cheap bus tickets make it more economical than driving in and parking. She did absolutely crash and burn on the way home though and fell asleep on my legs in quite possibly the stupidest position I’ve seen one of our children sleep in!

The big event of the week though was Henry’s trip to Exeter on Wednesday. He braved it and has had the big snip. He’s been feeling a bit sorry for himself but it’s all been straight forward. Of course he’s been surrounded by a loving and supportive family during this difficult time- the last text I sent him as he arrived for the op was- “Your penis is in my thoughts.” I mean that’s being considerate, isn’t it? And the kids were on top form after getting a child friendly explanation on why Daddy can’t move off the sofa and why he will cry if you jump on his lap. Polly laughed and asked “Is your penis all twisted up?” Then Seb started full blown cackling and shouted “Did they cut your bum off?” Might have to do a bit of better explanation when they actually start asking more questions. But hey at least this absolutely answers that question that has followed us around since having Clara- yes we are completely done having babies- this womb is closed and now so are his balls.

Polly has been on top form with getting words a bit mixed up this week- honestly this is one of the most hilarious and underrated aspects of parenting, Clara’s classic phrase is still ‘mick it mick it’ when referring to mixing any food or drink item. Polly however gave us a couple of howlers this week when she referred to McCoy’s crisps as ‘those McGregor crisps’ which they’ve now been re-named as in our house. She then asked for some ‘Southend chicken’ in her packed lunch- she meant Southern Fried- honestly I’m still laughing about this two days later.

I realise I didn’t do a blog last week so the tale from Clara’s birthday hasn’t been told yet and boy is it a classic chaotic Woodard tale. Her birthday was on a school day and Polly had Rainbows in the evening so all in all it was going to be a pretty quiet affair with presents and cake then a day out at the weekend. That was the plan anyway. The kids though thought that was far too boring. I was in the kitchen just after getting back from the school run making a snack, Henry was due home imminently and Clara was patiently waiting to open her presents- then I hear a “Muuuuummmmmyyyyy!” from the other room. I was walk in with the ‘what is going on now’ attitude to clap eyes on Seb covered in blood and Polly screaming bloody murder.

I asked them both to tell me what the actual hell had happened and was met with Polly screaming that he was going to die whilst hiding under the table and Seb kept saying ‘the balloon did it.’ I took him upstairs and cleaned him up as best I could, it stopped bleeding but the cut on his head definitely needed looking at by an actual professional so I got on the phone to Henry to find out how much longer he was going to be. No answer. Several texts and about ten phone calls later and he still wasn’t answering. I just needed to know whether he was going to be back with the car in five minutes or two hours. I did however get a proper explanation as to how Seb had sustained this latest injury. Turns out he was playing with a helium birthday balloon, throwing it up in the air and of course the weight at the bottom came down first and he didn’t move out the way in time so it landed on his head (insert face palm emoji here!).

Time was now ticking on though, I had three children all needing different things. Luckily the Rainbows crew came to the rescue and Polly got a lift to and from the meeting (this was actually quite a relief as she was definitely entering into hysterical nuisance mode and she needed to be somewhere else). With Henry still AWOL I decided to jump on a bus up to the Doctors at the top of town that thankfully has a minor injuries unit that is open till six. This must have looked hilarious- Seb sat in the pushchair with blood still on him and Clara bouncing around with her birthday badges thinking it was a great twist to her special day. The nurse was great and luckily it could be glued up instead of stitched. I also finally got a phone call back from Henry at this point- unfortunately he was still at least half an hour away so we caught the bus back down home. Polly and Henry came through the door at basically the same time and finally it was time for the littlest rascal to actually open some presents and enjoy some cake.

I hope to God though that after him bringing the chicken pox into the house, the foot saga and now this that Seb’s run of three is finally over (touch wood!). Although he had another X-ray last week just to make sure he’s not still hobbling round on a broken foot, he has made massive improvements on walking this week. Yesterday I asked him if he wanted to try walking to school and he said no- he wanted to scoot instead. This is better than the pushchair so I agreed and we left early. Five steps along the pavement though and he was walking with his legs either side of the scooter getting annoyed with it so I offered to carry it for him. He handed it over and then started walking- almost with his foot back to the floor in a normal position. He then walked all the way down there- it’s not a big walk to school but this was momentous. In fact when he arrived at his class door with his beaming teacher waiting, I almost cried. I honestly think it was more emotional than when he took his first steps as this has been such an ongoing nightmare. He has carried on being an absolute superstar since and was rewarded with a special certificate from school and a little racing car from us. Hopefully we’ll get the all clear from the X-ray at some point and we can finally put this whole foot saga behind us- fingers crossed,- and toes too just for good measure.

Anyway that’s enough for today- I need to go and do some washing up that we are both currently ignoring plus I keep getting distracted by Harry Potter. The kids have got right into the films recently which is a literal dream come true but it does mean they ask a million questions throughout that I can’t help but answer as it’s literally my specialist subject that would undoubtedly earn me a trophy on Mastermind if I ever had a chance to do so.