I meant to write up a post just after half term but the last week went by in such a flash that it was the weekend again before I knew it. Half term itself was a blur of playdates, binge watching Happy Valley (yes I know how late to the party I was!), a monster walk that turned my legs to liquid, work and a Disney pj day thrown in at the end to recover from a much more full on week than we’d planned. I worked quite a bit last week so today has been nice to spend some time with Henry- we went for breakfast with Nanny and Pops as an early birthday treat for him, but also to just have time together to sit and binge a bit of Clarkson’s farm and eat chocolate without it being stolen by the kids or having them jumping all over us whilst we try and have an actual adult conversation.

As I say the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur but there have been a couple of anecdotes the kids have provided us with.

Polly has started a new favourite game of ‘restaurants’ where she makes you up a plate of whatever you fancy from their little kitchen. When Henry came home from work at the weekend and sat on the sofa she was straight onto him asking him what he wanted, as a joke he replied “a poo” which she took in her stride and replied immediately with “you can’t order poo,” he then headed upstairs and when he came back he was greeted with a little plate of plastic food complete with a drawing of a poo from his savvy first born.

Clara has also taken on the restaurant game but she takes six requests to bring you your order as she usually declares “no, not got that” to most things when asked “what you like?” But she didn’t bat an eye the other day when Seb replied “children.” (We have Unicorse from Bluey to thank for that slightly disturbing reply!).

Another new favourite game the girls keep playing is ‘Mummy goes to work and takes baby to school on the way.’ The other day Polly had the little two playing her baby twins and me playing her teenage daughter whilst she went off to work for the day, but my god did she make me feel seen playing this bloody game when she huffed halfway through “this has been such hard work,” I asked her what had been and she tutted declaring “them” pointing at her younger siblings.

Seb made me realise I should probably be watching my language a bit more around them when he came downstairs after having a slight toilet mishap and boldly announcing “I’ve got bloody shit all over me!” Just to state he did not have ‘shit’ all over him, he hadn’t wiped properly and had a slight skid in his pants bless him but nothing to have a meltdown over.

Clara then let us know how quickly she’s growing up when she took a green stamp apart and got herself cover in ink. I told her “you’re looking a bit green there” and she replied “Yeah I should go doctors about that.” Thankfully it was just her that was green as I got hold of the stamp before she got too creative with the fixtures and fittings in the living room.

The sarcasm in this house is so high at present that no one can escape from it and Polly outdid herself this evening dishing out the burns. First off she presented Seb with a card that she had made him, he happily took it off her till he realised she’d addressed it ‘to poo Seb.’ I mean she had signed it off ‘love Polly’ but still! She then got me when she didn’t find my funny accent amusing whilst I was joking about washing her in the kitchen sink with the plates and she made me a lovely sign which simply read ‘stop talking.’ These kids are learning too much sarcasm way too quick that we can’t keep up.

I don’t really have much more to add tonight so I’m going to make another cuppa and settle down with some reading before the boy gets home and then we can shit ourselves up again watching the latest ‘Last of us!’ I’ll just leave this last little video of chaos which is the many faces of Clara watching her siblings have an argument about goodness knows what!

How on earth are we at a half term week already?! Like seriously where has that time gone?! We are just back from the park and the kids are in cosy pjs doing some science experiments at the big table whilst we watch a random spider man film (the 3rd instalment today of the same film- it’s been one of those days!). We misjudged how cold it was out there and they got covered in sand at the new park so we voted to have an afternoon bath instead of a bedtime bath, Seb was slightly concerned though that we wouldn’t be having tea and would be going straight to bed!

It’s been a fairly busy week so we don’t have too many big plans for half term, anyway last weekend was pretty full on. On Saturday we headed down to the Eden Project via a McDonalds breakfast. There were plenty of games of I-spy in the car, always an interesting experience with the kids anyway due to Polly’s versions, this time she was trying to get three turns by having Charmander and Evie (the Pokémon who’d come along for the drive) each have a turn as well as her. We play the colour version but you have to be prepared that the answer may be a car or a house that we went past four miles previously. We had a great time down in Cornwall and the kids had a blast running around the biomes. They loved searching out the frogs and birds and we also spotted the geckos hiding in a little hut. We weren’t so quick at spotting how feral Clara thought that after using a drinks fountain it meant you could get water from anywhere and started licking drops off a nearby bench.

We stopped at Tesco on the way home and picked up a naughty tea which we ate whilst Henry carried on giving the kids a Star Wars lesson- they’ve been watching them all through and during a particularly exciting scene with all sorts of things exploding Polly declared, “see this is why it’s called Star Wars.”

The next day after a long shift at work I joined some work friends for a spot of food and a bit of bingo, we had a proper laugh and two of us even won some money which is always a bonus.

Monday afternoon after school gave an absolute treat when we got to watch Polly’s dance class. This was definitely an experience I won’t forget. I went up with the little two in toe and whilst getting Polly dressed things got off to a great start when Seb randomly smacked Clara in the face and she then did a shit. A few minutes later we settled into the room with a fresh nappy and some cars to distract the rascal little two. Polly then put on quite a show. I’m not sure what the highlight was? Either when she twerked away towards us shouting “Mummy I’m going to fart in your face.” Or maybe when she just did her own thing completely instead of the routine they were meant to be doing. Or maybe when she shouted about how much money ‘Mummy won last night.’ All in all I spent most of the class hanging my head in horror hoping against hope that this isn’t her normal dance class behaviour (I’m assured it usually only last about ten minutes!).

The week also included the kids first school disco. Seb was adamant he didn’t want to go and Polly wouldn’t stop talking about how much she was looking forward to it. So you can imagine my surprise when I picked them up to find Seb bouncing off the walls about how much fun he had had (he’d changed his mind at the last minute and said he wanted to give it a try) and Polly stood at the top of steps screaming and crying about ‘the worst disco there has ever been.’ Turns out she just didn’t really want it to end and she was sad to have not been named a ‘top dancer.’ She banned Seb from talking about it on the way home but I did enjoy feedback from several of the mum’s who’d spotted Seb’s amazing dance moves.

I’ve also snuck in a couple of walks this week. I pushed myself to an almost 9 mile beast on Monday that went up and down several hills in the valley, it was a lush day for a walk but I did have some jelly legs after that! I did also set a very early alarm on Wednesday and went up one the hills into the woods in the dark, I then made my way along to the cliff and caught the sunrise which was quite a treat. I will make sure I don’t go for a dark walk after watching ‘The Last of us’ the night before again though as I got spooked a couple of times that a zombie might have been lurking behind a tree and almost shat myself when I spooked a deer across my path.

Anyway time to go and make that promised tea now, especially as Spider man has just come to a very dramatic end. We’re opting for a bit of Tinkerbell now to lighten the mood! Good luck to everyone out there for this week- we’ve already been through 687 snacks and 849 fights.