So, it’s officially Christmas in this house and we are slowly turning the downstairs into a grotto with more lights than Blackpool illuminations. Apart from a very damp trip to the rugby yesterday with Laura where we had an absolute mare coming home when the Exeter carnival had all the buses cancelled for over an hour, we’ve had quite a quiet couple of weeks since my last post so there hasn’t been too much to write about- hence the delay. Instead, the kids have been comedy gold, so I thought I’d tell a few little tales to bring a little joy.

Polly in particular has been on top form. Tale number one occured on the way back from Rainbows:

Polly- “Mummy, mummy look a ladybird. Ohhh it’s different coloured. Is it poisonous?”

Me- “I don’t know mate.”

Polly- “Why don’t you know?”

Me- “Sorry, I just don’t.”

Polly- “Shall we find out?”

Me- “Nah, I think I’ll leave it alone, I don’t wanna get poisoned if it is.”

Polly- “We could use Seb.”

Seb- “No, I don’t want to get poisoned.”

Another Polly gem came when Clara and I were pretending to play phones and then we passed the ‘phone’ to Polly who went off on a whole tangent of her own where she was invited to a party at 2AM, on an island, with all the fairies, with food and of course drinks! I then asked her how she was getting there to which she replied- by plane or bus. She then shushed me to tell whoever the party organiser was- “yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

Seb’s moment came last week when we were crossing the road outside ours and the big two moved a lot quicker than me with the pushchair. Polly screamed across the road “Mummy, you’re gonna get killed!” Just to say the car was no-where near us but ever the Drama Queen. Anyway, Seb went the other way and declared- “Good job Mummy.” Then at bedtime he found a star sticker and presented it to me for my ‘good crossing the road earlier.’

The Christmas decorating has meant the knitted nativity people have set up home under the tree again with the battery operated ‘Polar Express.’ This has created a few hilarious scenes from the children including watching a game unfold where Mary and Joseph were trying to catch the train to Bethlehem as ‘that’s what they’d booked.’

Clara then got hold of the nativity people the next day and had them kissing each other, the only problem was she had Mary kissing one of the three Kings, and he then moved on to a shepherd- not sure if anyone had the heart to let poor Joseph know.

The Christmas bits also include a small reindeer and a giant one (the same height as Clara, who incidentally has been mistaken for a child out the corner of both our eyes many times!), both these reindeers were invited to tea with the children this week with the big two sharing all their food with each of their new ‘pets.’

With the change in weather the cat has taken to staying in a lot more and Clara seems quite pleased about this and has taken to offering up gifts to him, this looked quite amusing the other day when she’d placed Polly’s little Pokémon figures up like some sort of sacrifice.

When you first have kids and start venturing into the world of kid’s TV you realise quite quickly that you don’t ask questions as you end up falling down the rabbit hole but this week, I broke that rule had started asking questions to Polly as she’s a bit older now and I find her insight quite amusing now she can voice exactly how she interprets these things. The problem was I picked the most mental of all the kid’s offerings- In the night Garden.

Me- “How big is the Pinky Ponk actually meant to be? Look there it’s smaller than Makka Pakka but they can all fit in it? Are the Tombliboos siblings or just in a very open relationship?”

Polly- “Mummy just stop asking questions.”

Me- “But I have so many questions! What is Iggle Piggle meant to be?”

Polly- “A Piggle.”

Me- “Oh ok. What about Makka Pakka?”

Polly- “A Mak. No more questions.”

And a couple of little snippets to round it off. Whilst catching up on Strictly this morning, Polly came out with ‘Hmm Ranger Hamza is quite the dancer” while watching her favourite.

And Seb floored us yesterday morning when he came in the bed for a cuddle. Henry gave him a big squeeze and said, “I love you little man.” Seb didn’t even hesitate and just replied with “I love you big man.”