It’s that time of year where I keep my notes page at hand and record a 24 hour period in my life to add to the crazy collection. This is what kept me busy on Thursday 16the June 2022-

5:30AM- Henry’s alarm goes off and I pop for a quick wee before creeping back into bed.

6:25AM- Bed invader number 2 arrives. Polly arrived at some point before this but I’m not sure when that actually was, anyway I’m not vibing with the 6:25 part of this wake up so I put the lullaby machine on and cross my fingers. She senses my desperation for more sleep and chooses to chat away to herself and put her bed socks on her teddies.

7:06AM- Bed invader number 3 arrives.

7:18AM- Daddy pops in in to say bye before heading to work.

7:25AM- Out of the bed. I make all the beds and join the queue for the bathroom. I leave the big 2 chatting about Seb’s penis and head downstairs.

7:30AM- The good egg I married has made me a cup of tea before he left. I then crack on with making breakfast with my little helper.

7:35AM- Run upstairs to the shouting and break off the fight between the big 2 in the bathroom. It turns out Seb is having a strop as he wants to wear a different pair of pants.

7:40AM- Seb brings his strop downstairs and tells me he’s too tired to eat. Polly shouts her breakfast orders down from the toilet where she is still sitting!

7:45AM- Polly finally appears downstairs. Seb decides he will join Clara at the table for breakfast.

7:47AM- 3 children at the table.

7:49AM- I join them with some toast.

7:55AM- I throw some lunches together for the big 2. Break up another fight- the little 2 this time. Clara steals a sausage roll from the lunches.

8:03AM- I discover that the cat has left us a present outside the conservatory door. The kids ask too many questions- ‘can we pet it?’ ‘why not?’

8:05AM- I get summoned upstairs to wipe a child’s bum.

8:08AM- I get myself dresssed.

8:10AM- I head back downstairs and everyone else gets dressed. At one point I find Clara under the table pulling apart thank you cards waiting to be filled in from the girl’s birthdays but at least she’s trying to put her socks on at the same time.

8:15AM- I put some new contact lenses in- I wear 2 weekly ones and these are a new prescription so the new vision blows my brain a bit. Everyone is finally dressed.

8:21AM- Hair salon time. Mine is a rat nest today as I went to bed with wet hair last night- mum bun it is for me then.

8:26AM- All clean teeth.

8:31AM- We all head back downstairs. Clara has recently been taught the bum shuffle technique down the stairs and the other 2 find this hilarious so copy her- they then continue the crazy shuffling into and around the living room. Sun tan lotion all around and shoes on.

8:44AM- Time to load everyone and everything up on and around the pushchair.

8:47AM- School and nursery run. Snake has snuck his way into school on Polly’s shoulders.

8:51AM- Now there’s just 1!

8:55AM- We pop back home to pick up the water bottle I’ve forgotten. Straight back out again. We head into town and go via Blackmore gardens to say hi to the squirrels.

9:13AM- We have a little sit on the beach before it gets too hot. We play with the rocks, Clara can’t say ‘ready’ yet so keeps shouting ‘ebby go’ every time one of us throws a rock at the sea.

9:26AM- Leave the beach to head for singing group.

9:34AM- Arrive at group. We have fun singing together then enjoy a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit. The chat topics include- travel, the kids, Bluey and ghosts.

10:50AM- Group finishes. We pop to the shop to pick up milk, bananas and a birthday card.

11:03AM- We head home via the Byes river walk as requested by a small person- she comes out in the byes to walk.

11:16AM- Home with 28 sticks and a leaf. I deal with the mouse gift in the garden and Clara has a banana.

11:23AM- Time to watch some Bluey- there is dancing involved. Also time to sort some washing- fold some, iron some, put some away and get some ready for bedtime and morning.

11:53AM- In the kitchen to make some lunch.

12:08PM- Settle down together for some scrambled egg on toast.

12:24PM- Do some washing up and clean the kitchen. Shadow follows me. Shadow does a poo after trying to put soil in the washing machine.

12:45PM- Nap time for us both.

13:30PM- Clara wakes up, I put the lullaby machine back on but she’s having none of it- this is not ideal. Sadly say goodbye to the bed and head downstairs. I stick Bluey back on, get under a blanket and cross my fingers that she’ll settle down.

14:36PM- She did settle and had a cuddle and I must have dozed off again as I wake up to her stroking my face. We stay on the sofa for a bit though for cuddles and giggles.

14:57PM- Contact lenses back in and shoes on. Time to go and get the boy.

15:13PM- We head to the orchard in the Byes for a little play. Seb has bought snacks- he decorated biscuits at nursery. They collect sticks, chase butterflies and have a good run around.

15:54PM- We leave the orchard and head back to school to pick up Polly.

16:12PM- Home.

16:20PM- Snacks and strawberry milkshake is demanded by the small people.

16:25PM- I hoover downstairs.

16:35PM- I stick on Encanto (fondly known as ‘magic house’ in this house). Polly sets up an animal rescue shelter and more snacks are requested.

16:58PM- Time to do the Rainbows run.

17:07PM- Home again. Clara needs a new outfit as I realise she has covered herself in milk. I go on a mission to find the 3 missing pen lids after an unknown child has had a colouring in session on the big table.

17:18PM- Start tea. I get summoned to dance numerous times.

17:54PM- We head back out the door to collect Polly.

18:06PM- Home.

18:15PM- Taco time (or boats as the kids call them).

18:23PM- Daddy home- we have a quick catch up.

18:43PM- I do the washing up.

18:57PM- Time to get ready for work.

19:07PM- Hugs all round then I leave the house.

19:35PM- I arrive slightly early so enjoy a few minutes extra of quiet to myself in the car.

19:43PM- I head in to work for 10 hours on the phones.

23:02PM- I have a screen break and have another cup of tea.

1:48AM- Break time- or middle of the night lunchtime as I call it.

3:37AM- I start fading a bit so I have another screen break where I head outside to do a lap of the building in the cool air, also time for another cup of tea.

4:00AM- I break open the chocolate- it’s a milkyway this morning.

6:04AM- Out the door and head home.

6:34AM- Back home. I feed the cat and make some packed lunches for the big 2.

6:48AM- Creep round a bed invader and crawl under the duvet for some sleep.