I don’t really know where May went to be honest and I’m definitely not ready to say I have a six year old in the morning! The last few weeks have been such a blur and the girls’ birthdays have crept up on us this year. We realised at the last minute that the only real time to do a family day out was last Friday- luckily we figured this out Thursday evening! So we headed somewhere new for a fun day out in the sun. The big two each had a pony ride and they all got to cuddle ponies, pigs and have a good run around. Clara got a bit of a fright when an escaped sheep headed straight for her and made her jump with a very loud ‘baa’, Mummy nearly got stuck in the soft play area and Clara spent most of the time on the slide going down sideways. Throw that all together with a go on a tractor and some ice cream and we all had a pretty good day out.

But I still can’t believe the big one turns six tomorrow.

I had a nice parenting moment last week too when I got to head along to watch sport’s day, the first time we’ve been aloud to watch since COVID. Clara spent the whole time eating chocolate which slightly put her big sister off, but it was a really nice afternoon and the kids all got an ice lolly at the end which was a relief as the little one didn’t keep her promise and save at least one Wispa piece for her sister!

I also can’t believe the little one turns two next week- I mean where has that gone?! She’s an absolute rascal and definitely keeps us all on our toes all of the time. She’s picking up so much around her all the time and is getting more confident outside the house all the time. Her latest thing is copying Simon Cowell when we watch Britain’s Got Talent together- she gets very into all the acts, clapping and cheering and loves to copy the thumbs up from her new idol!

Seb, who bless him still hasn’t mastered the thumbs up (he puts his index finger up and thinks he’s copying you!), has taken to singing nursery rhymes all the time which is very cute. He bought home a seed the other week from nursery, wrapped in a paper towel, a little bemused I popped it in a pot with some soil and we were all fairly amazed to watch a literal giant beanstalk appear within a couple of days- he’s loving watching it grow now.

The big event this month was our trip up to Suffolk for a family wedding. We had an absolute blast and it was really nice to spend some quality time together. The wedding itself was beautiful and the kids loved their first wedding experience. They ate lots of food, got dressed up in props and literally had to be dragged off the dance floor at 10:30PM. It was also just nice to all get dressed up fancy.

We stayed in the premier inn as usual- or ‘the Quiet’s’ as the kids affectionately call them. We also caught up with some friends and had a soft play date one day and a park and ice cream trip the next. We also went bowling with family where we split ourselves across two lanes and Auntie Faye and I resigned ourselves quite quickly to the fact that the girls were going to beat us. It was their first time bowling so I’m guessing they’ve just got some inner secret talent or they picked up tips from the Gavin and Stacey episode we watched just before we travelled where Nessa annihilates them all.

Well, Clara has just woken up from her nap, and all the kids have just dissolved into the classic ‘I need a snack meltdown’ typically found every half an hour during any school holiday so I’ll be quick with my last anecdote. This week I also got to experience the worst (and I mean the worst) poo moment in six years of parenting courtesy of my youngest child who really is taking the ‘hold my beer’ meme as a personal quest in outdoing her older siblings at every opportunity. I was upstairs cleaning the bathroom when I heard those horror words “Mummy, she’s got poo on her!” This is one of those child declarations that you go running to the source of and there I found Clara indeed covered in poo. She was wearing a jumpsuit and socks which were now the wrong colour. As I ventured further into the conservatory the horror got worse. It seems that after doing a poo of such a quantity I still don’t understand how it was fitting inside her body beforehand, she had sat herself down on the ledge of the backdoor- the sliding glass backdoor and the ridged ledge. The poo itself was the consistency of mashed potato and it quite literally looked like someone had thrown a pan full of this at the door and this area in general. We also have some soft play mats in this area and my flip flops which I’m thinking she may have used to mush the poo into the mats. It was absolute carnage. I would have taken a photo just to capture the full horror but I had to act very quickly to stop the spread as the toddler was still loose and still covered. Let’s just say she got to come and watch me finish cleaning the bathroom splashing away in the freshly cleaned bath with me still reeling from the horror and the washing machine saving my arse once again! When I say the youngest one is feral this will be the new story I tell and if they still think she’s cute then I’ll go back to the last story with this honour (when she bought me a lump of cat shit she’d found)- kids are just great.