This is the second attempt at writing this post tonight and honestly I’m not expecting much from it- or for it to even be complete but I’ll give it a bash!

It’s not exactly been the start to 2021 that people hoped for and we’ve been thrown into the world of homeschooling with no warning and no end in sight but, we’re trying to get into the swing of it fairly quickly to avoid any more chaos in Polly’s life. I just would love to ask the government why they thought 8pm (after the kids had gone to bed) was a good time to declare an imminent lockdown as her tearful face the next morning really could have been avoided with a bit of warning. But here we are- a couple of days in and already I think all teachers across the land should be knighted.

This is a very different lockdown for us personally as this time there are 5 of us in the house and we are 5 people with very different needs right now. Henry is trying to get his head back in the pt mindset ready for when he can hit the exams that covid has delayed. Polly is trying to get used to her new teacher. Seb has learnt a new phrase- “I need you” and is deploying it at every possible moment (when I’m trying to have a wee, when I’m trying to get my head round phonics, when I’m trying to drink a cold cup of tea). Clara is going through the ‘10 minutes is definitely a long enough nap, oh nope I’ve changed my mind I actually just want to nap on your boobs’ phase while also looking like she wants to start trying to move around. And me- well I don’t really know at the moment.

Truthfully I had quite the wobble last night. I think we’ve all had a covid breakdown at some point and I had my second or third (I’ve lost count!) last night after collapsing into bed. It’s just hit me that my maternity leave really isn’t going to have a glimmer of light on the final horizon. It’s the realisation that Clara will get even less time with me as Polly is now in the house learning instead of in the trusted hands of an actual teacher. It’s the thought of Seb potentially (and hopefully) starting nursery in September after so long away from other kids. It’s the thought that this is my last maternity leave and it’s start and now it’s finish dates have been taken out of my hands. It’s the realisation that so much is out of my control. I know it’s all for a reason- I really do know how serious the pandemic is, I’m just saying that it’s a bit sucky at the moment. I’m pleased that phrase- ‘we’re all in the same boat’ got thrown in the bin as a more accurate phrase would be- ‘we’re all in the same storm, but some people are watching from a safe distance on pleasure cruises sipping martini and others are clinging onto a bit of wood fairly similar to the one Rose & Jack couldn’t share.’

Anyway enough doom and gloom from me- we’re ok really! We did have a fab Christmas, quiet but not quiet. Henry broke all the parenting rules and set an alarm for 6:40 and woke Clara and I up as the big 2 kids hadn’t jumped on our bed at 6AM like he’d hoped! 5 minutes later we had all 5 of us on our bed opening the stocking presents while on FaceTime to Grandpops. We then headed downstairs for the main presents and lots more excitement. I swear it gets better every year as their awareness and excitement grows every year too.

The other thing we’ve agreed to this month is a charity walk with our work family. Combined we are walking 630 miles (the south west coast path) over the course of January, there’s a group of us doing it- not together of course!!- so we need to do 31 miles each. It’s definitely a good excuse to get out the house for some fresh air and the last 2 walks with the girls in toe (the girls team as Polly calls us!) have been really nice with lots of squirrel spotting and counting trees.

I think I’ll finish up there as I’m watching Clara stir on the baby monitor so I think my evening sitting time is over, I mean I got 20 minutes and a warm cup of tea so I shouldn’t be too disappointed! Not sure how regular the blog posts will be due to my slightly frazzled brain at the moment but I do want to get back to being more consistent!