I cannot believe it’s almost the end of January already, I’m still at the stage where I have to think before writing 2021 but at the same time it feels like January is turning out to be as long as March felt last year- precisely 468 days long. I think lockdown messes with time anyway as some days I look at the clock and feel like I’ve lost 3 hours! I did have a giggle at the calendar earlier, the sad empty one, except for 2 things which have both been crossed out- an eye test and ‘back to school’.

Obviously I can’t write a post without a little homeschooling update (especially after my slight meltdown in the last post!). To be honest it’s going pretty well all things considered. We definitely have blips where we have to step away from the work and do some playing or Netflix binging but in general we are finding our flow. I’ve definitely found Polly to be a more visual/physical learner, no idea if she’s the same in an actual classroom but at home I’ve had to find some alternative ways to help- especially with phonics! Yesterday for example she wasn’t on board with the ‘sound swap’ in the live lesson (swapping one letter out of a 3 letter word to make another- pig into peg). So, after we logged off I pulled out a little train track, stuck 3 of our phonics pegs to a carriage and had the train go round to the station where it needed to change a letter instead by swapping a peg. It worked a treat and we’ll definitely be using that technique again.

The week days do feel a bit of a blur with zooms, a little daily walk, numberblocks and just general life so I’m trying to be productive at the weekends. This morning I wrote out my to-do list to get done by Monday morning and realised I’d written something at the top which might sit strange with some people.

Some people might find it strange to add ‘call best friend’ to a to-do list as they might think I’m implying it’s a chore- this absolutely isn’t the case. I’ve put it there so I can make time for it, as it was the most important thing I wanted to do this weekend, it was also the first thing I ticked off the list. I know this is a really hard time for a lot of people and things are a bit overwhelming sometimes, and I definitely don’t want to come across like I’m giving anyone a telling off as that’s not why I’m rambling about this- I just wanted to say that we need to make time for each other now more than ever so for me personally this is the best way to ensure I can do that. Incidentally it was a great chat, with a bit of Polly input at times, where we discussed getting matching tattoos, virtual book clubs and dinosaur pjs- best way to start a Saturday!

So Clara-bear seems to have mastered the sitting thing. She’s still at that stage where she occasionally throws herself to the floor though so she can usually be found in the centre of a circle of cushions. She is loving all the foods that we are throwing her way and we’ve finally found a child who loves broccoli!

Seb is doing so well with his speech and the sentences are starting to come- with hilarious moments, such as him tripping over his feet this evening and declaring “oh no I broken”. He was absolutely fine, he seems to be following in the wake of his fairly dramatic big sister. I’m trying to get him involved in bits of the homeschooling where possible especially as he seems to love learning things, although he’s definitely happiest when he’s just playing trains.

That’s probably it from me tonight. I’ve been writing this upstairs while trying to encourage Clara to sleep more than half an hour in her cot without my boob in her mouth and if I’ve only got a 10 minute left I’d like to use that time wisely by stuffing a crunchie in my mouth and blagging a cup of tea out of Henry!

This is the second attempt at writing this post tonight and honestly I’m not expecting much from it- or for it to even be complete but I’ll give it a bash!

It’s not exactly been the start to 2021 that people hoped for and we’ve been thrown into the world of homeschooling with no warning and no end in sight but, we’re trying to get into the swing of it fairly quickly to avoid any more chaos in Polly’s life. I just would love to ask the government why they thought 8pm (after the kids had gone to bed) was a good time to declare an imminent lockdown as her tearful face the next morning really could have been avoided with a bit of warning. But here we are- a couple of days in and already I think all teachers across the land should be knighted.

This is a very different lockdown for us personally as this time there are 5 of us in the house and we are 5 people with very different needs right now. Henry is trying to get his head back in the pt mindset ready for when he can hit the exams that covid has delayed. Polly is trying to get used to her new teacher. Seb has learnt a new phrase- “I need you” and is deploying it at every possible moment (when I’m trying to have a wee, when I’m trying to get my head round phonics, when I’m trying to drink a cold cup of tea). Clara is going through the ‘10 minutes is definitely a long enough nap, oh nope I’ve changed my mind I actually just want to nap on your boobs’ phase while also looking like she wants to start trying to move around. And me- well I don’t really know at the moment.

Truthfully I had quite the wobble last night. I think we’ve all had a covid breakdown at some point and I had my second or third (I’ve lost count!) last night after collapsing into bed. It’s just hit me that my maternity leave really isn’t going to have a glimmer of light on the final horizon. It’s the realisation that Clara will get even less time with me as Polly is now in the house learning instead of in the trusted hands of an actual teacher. It’s the thought of Seb potentially (and hopefully) starting nursery in September after so long away from other kids. It’s the thought that this is my last maternity leave and it’s start and now it’s finish dates have been taken out of my hands. It’s the realisation that so much is out of my control. I know it’s all for a reason- I really do know how serious the pandemic is, I’m just saying that it’s a bit sucky at the moment. I’m pleased that phrase- ‘we’re all in the same boat’ got thrown in the bin as a more accurate phrase would be- ‘we’re all in the same storm, but some people are watching from a safe distance on pleasure cruises sipping martini and others are clinging onto a bit of wood fairly similar to the one Rose & Jack couldn’t share.’

Anyway enough doom and gloom from me- we’re ok really! We did have a fab Christmas, quiet but not quiet. Henry broke all the parenting rules and set an alarm for 6:40 and woke Clara and I up as the big 2 kids hadn’t jumped on our bed at 6AM like he’d hoped! 5 minutes later we had all 5 of us on our bed opening the stocking presents while on FaceTime to Grandpops. We then headed downstairs for the main presents and lots more excitement. I swear it gets better every year as their awareness and excitement grows every year too.

The other thing we’ve agreed to this month is a charity walk with our work family. Combined we are walking 630 miles (the south west coast path) over the course of January, there’s a group of us doing it- not together of course!!- so we need to do 31 miles each. It’s definitely a good excuse to get out the house for some fresh air and the last 2 walks with the girls in toe (the girls team as Polly calls us!) have been really nice with lots of squirrel spotting and counting trees.

I think I’ll finish up there as I’m watching Clara stir on the baby monitor so I think my evening sitting time is over, I mean I got 20 minutes and a warm cup of tea so I shouldn’t be too disappointed! Not sure how regular the blog posts will be due to my slightly frazzled brain at the moment but I do want to get back to being more consistent!