Isn’t it just glorious weather?! I’m really trying hard to not complain as we all know it’ll be gone by the time the schools break up and those snow memories weren’t actually that long ago, but a few degrees cooler might be nice! It just becomes a bit tricky with little people as you need to remember suncream, hats, sunglasses, to stay in the shade, to not be out during the midday sun, to make sure they are drinking enough, the list goes on, but at least it means we can go out and enjoy it. This is exactly what we’ve been doing.

Polly had a blast Monday morning with her friends in the local gardens. On Tuesday we had our usual trip to Henry’s grandparents which included a trip to the park. Polly was straight up the big yellow slide but she herself deemed the metal one ‘too hot’ and she then got a special treat when a group of helicopters did some sort of training exercise that involved them flying so low they looked like they were touching the trees. She’s so into her vehicles at the moment I’m going to pick her up some sort of vehicle encyclopaedia so she can start learning all their names- at the moment it’s either a car, bus, aeroplane or an ‘amunat’ (ambulance to the rest of us!).

Henry has been working 3 till close on a Friday which means we’ve been splitting up and spending one on one time with the children which has been quite nice as I was starting to feel guilty (I swear I feel guilty at everything these days!) about the lack of one on one time Seb was getting. So I’ve been taking him to a baby group and Henry takes Polly to the donkey sanctuary or the park or the beach. It’s quite nice to have an hour or so to just chill out with little man and Polly loves spending time with her daddy, as proven by the series of photos and videos I got from their food shop adventure this week.

Yesterday one of my Mum friends and I had an amusing moment at the library that made me think about the new friends motherhood has bought and how much I appreciate them. Becoming a parent is a scary thing in many ways but one of those things included the need to make new friends to help get you through the rollercoaster you’re about to embark on as these are your fellow passengers. So after my last post I just wanted to say thank you to all my new parent friends as the support they gave from that made me realise how much I can count on them. So thank you to the mums, dads, Grandma’s and nanny’s who we see every week at groups and play dates. You guys are amazing at making me feel sane and always manage to put a smile on my face and are ready with a hug when that’s what’s needed. It’s amazing watching our little people growing up together. Thank you to one of my oldest friends who is always at the end of the phone with advice and reassurance and who I can count on for a bit of gossip. Thank you to the friends I’ve made through social media especially the WTE June 2016 mamas and dadas, it’s so amazing seeing how far we’ve all come with the help of instagram, it’s a shame the actual WTE page isn’t as active but boy did we go through a lot on there and those threads got me through many night feeds, especially the solid gold ones that started crazy debates or just left your mouth hanging open- ‘I’m thinking of divorcing my husband cuz he gave our child ice cream (I’m pretty sure it was ice cream!)’. These amazing communities have all been lifelines and I just want each one of you to know how much I appreciate your friendship. Oh and the incident Hazel and I shared at the library involved a rather large spider sitting a bit too close for comfort during bounce and rhyme and us 2 (both afraid of those evil 8 legged monsters) taking 20 minutes to deduce it was definitely dead as each of our toddlers got so close they nearly stepped on it. See little moments that put a smile on my face!

This is actually the third blog post I’ve written in as many days but the other 2 aren’t ready for publishing yet and then I realised I actually needed to write one to publish now- oops. At least there’s the answer on how sleep deprivation can mess you up a little bit! That and just having the occasional, long and stressful day- today being one of them. It started off great, by 9AM we were all dressed and fed and ready for the day plus I’d sorted out a load of washing which actually made it straight from the airer to the drawers (shock horror!) plus I’d tidied the kitchen and sorted out the recycling. It was obviously too good to last. By 1PM I was ready for the whole day to just fuck off- yup that bad. Henry normally has Tuesday off. Today he didn’t. The Tuesday toddler group is a busy one, it’s a great one but it’s also one that Polly needs one of us with her as she’s prone to getting over excited and being a rascal. Today she decided to be a class A demon. As I was chatting away I caught the tail end of her and a bigger kid having a disagreement which Polly settled by facepalming the other girl. Most of the parents at the town groups are supportive of each other and try and reassure you that she will grow out of this bloody infuriating stage, unfortunately this girls mother wasn’t one I knew and instead responded to my apology with that look. That judging look that made me feel like a complete failure. I was all ready to leave then and there as I’m really starting to struggle with being the parent of a hitter as I know that reputation is starting to settle on her and it really does make me feel like I’ve failed her. Luckily at that moment one of Polly’s little friends came and sat next to us at the play doh table and her mum (who is quite possibly one of the nicest human beings I’ve ever encountered) came over and took a seat next to me. She gave me a hug (actually 2 hugs) when I got upset sat on the floor of that church hall with Seb strapped to my chest and our little girls making play doh butterflies and chatted to me about how hard this parenting thing is and that this phase really will pass. I needed her kind words so much right at that point and just want to thank her for that. Sadly the day still had some shit to throw my way after lunch when Polly refused a nap and screamed at me for 10 minutes while Seb also cried because she was crying and he wanted to nap. After I made it clear that she really was going to have a nap she did then lie down and go to sleep.

Thankfully this is when the day took a turn. Seb and I headed downstairs and ignored the hoovering choosing instead to sit on the sofa for a cuddle. I then watched my guilty pleasure (the latest version of 16 and pregnant to hit mtv) and Seb gave me some of his biggest smiles. Two hours after she argued about going for a bloody nap I actually ended up waking her up to find she’d had a personality transplant and was in a delightful mood wanting to play trains.

She’s grown up so much over the 8 weeks that she’s been a big sister and has become if possible even more adventurous, I just wish she’d stop smacking then I feel like I could enjoy it all a lot more and I’d be able to relax more and give her the extra freedom I think she’s craving. I can see how much she’s changing and I don’t want this to overshadow it as she has had some amazing moments that make me so proud of her, like earlier this evening when she pointed at a patch of sunlight and told me the sun was in the sky. Or an hour before that when my for the last 3 month fussy eater ate strawberries, orange, carrot and a pea after refusing all fruit and veg except banana for whats felt like an eternity. Or yesterday morning when she shushed the cat who was miowing too loudly next to an upset Sebastian who I was trying to comfort. Or yesterday afternoon when she leant out of her pushchair to try and put a paper cup in a bin. I could go on but I’m getting emotional again. So what’s the point of this post? I guess it’s mainly me trying to get across the other side of my beautiful girl to those who maybe aren’t seeing it right now and an apology really to those who have been on the receiving end of her smack. She’s honestly so full of love it breaks my heart to see her lashing out when she’s trying to learn the words to explain what’s made her angry. I just hope she gets through it before it causes any serious damage as right now this is killing me as a parent.

I’m writing this on my phone in the back seat of the car between 2 car seats on the way home from Suffolk in the rain, full of KFC and feeling bad for Henry in the front by himself! We’ve had a great week up in our old stomping ground seeing family and friends, introducing Seb and listening to how much Polly has grown- she really has in the 3 months since we were last up. We were planning on the trip nearer the end of June but our house needed some TLC and was booked in for a full rewire so we scarpered to give them the chance to do it quickly.

Polly has had a blast. She’s been to soft play a couple of times, Seb wasn’t so keen apparently and found it a bit boring- see photo attached. She’s also been spoilt with lots of birthday presents and just generally with plenty of cake and biscuits! They have been long days that have left her asking to go ‘night-night’ by the end and have also resulted in her sleeping like a log each night even with all 4 of us in one room. We stayed with Henry’s nanny which was really nice, Henry lived with his nan during his teenage years so it’s always nice for him to spend a chunk of time with her, and the dog of course! Also staying with Bear (the dog!) seems to have helped Polly’s sudden dislike of dogs which surfaced a few weeks ago which is a great bonus.

The general consensus from everyone is that Polly is wild and so full of energy I was asked every day “how do I keep up with her?!”. In particular she loved playing with her Godmother Michelle’s little boys, Eli & Niall, they had great fun at the park and always make us laugh. She also had great fun at a family BBQ on Friday afternoon with Uncle Bob chasing her round the house while she stole all the dogs toys and hid them in her bed, this was after plenty of laughter at the table with Auntie Carla who she has a real soft spot for.

Sebastian thought it amusing to book end the trip with well timed poo’s. Ironically we left at just after 4pm to come home after setting off Monday morning at just past 4am and each time with a loaded up car the boy thought it a perfect time to let one rip! The face of innocence in the following photo as he literally didn’t give a shit! I’ve also discovered he likes to have his face held when he’s sad at the fact that we are stuck in traffic and he calms down when I sing various nursery rhymes- a few hours ago old McDonald ended up with a very creative farm including crabs, snakes and a frog.

We finished our week with a picnic at Fram castle (aka the castle on the hill) with G-G (great Grandma) and uncle Oli. It’s strange taking your children back to places where you grew up, I mean it makes you feel old for a start! But it’s funny watching Polly running up a grass slope that you drunkenly rolled down several years earlier.

The week leading up to our trip was full of fun too with Polly turning 2! I can’t believe my big baby is 2! Henry last minute had the day off so we organised a last minute trip to soft play where she had lots of fun with some of her little friends- bad mummy didn’t take a single picture all day apart from the balloon dancing video before breakfast. I of course got emotional later on in the day while looking at old photos of when she was born- is this just another ‘Mum thing’ that I’ll cry every birthday?!

Seb and I had a little mother son date earlier in the week when we headed to the local church hall to watch the greatest showman with one of our mummy friends and her littlest one. They both did great and us mums even enjoyed hot cups of tea and cake! Oh and it’s just become my favourite film as it really is that good. Lastly a little anecdote as this really has been a long post! I took the little ones for walk in the byes last week, Polly was back in the pushchair after lots of running around waving at everyone and everything and Seb was asleep in the carrier. 2 older ladies stopped us when we were 2 minutes from the house and started cooing over the children when one of them took Seb’s hand and came out with the craziest thing anyone has ever said to me…. “oh he feels very cold, are you sure he’s still breathing?” And no she wasn’t joking! I flustered something about him fidgeting a moment before as I couldn’t believe someone would ask such a thing (dam you brain for coming up with the good comebacks once we get home). She then outdid herself by asking me “are you sure? Could you just check?”. After deeming that my baby was still alive under his sunhat she felt assured enough to leave us be. I’m still dumbfounded a week later! Why can’t people just say congratulations and move on!

Well time to sign off and publish as Seb is now stuck to my boob (again!) while I’m still wedged between the car seats and Henry is protecting our hot chocolates from a Polly monster sitting in my seat- just to clarify we are now at the services on the m4 not still going round the m25!