Something different tonight. I’ve been having a thoughtful day on what parenting means to me and I did say I’d do another post on the realities of parenting, so this is parenting 5 weeks in to the fun and games of 2 under 2 (which incidentally I can only say until Sunday as my baby turns 2! Where has that time gone?!).

Parenting is squeezing yourself on the back seat between 2 car seats to hold 2 little hands of people who are cranky and don’t like the stop start traffic coming out of Exeter, while being battered round the head with a happy meal balloon.

Parenting is mastering going for a wee one handed while holding an unsettled baby who if they cry they’ll wake up the toddler you just settled for a nap.

Parenting is giving up the other half of your custard cream and watching that little person loose half of that half in your cup of tea.

Parenting is swapping nights out getting shitfaced on tequila to chasing little people round soft play while getting hyper on slushy puppies.

Parenting is casually wiping actual shit from under your finger nail after clearing up a poonami incident that probably needed a hose instead of some wet wipes.

Parenting is crawling into bed at 9pm after a knackering day then waking up 4 times to tend to the little people before being woken at 6 with the cutest little ‘more-ring’ that washes away all that tiredness and gives you the strength to do it all again another day.

Parenting is inventing the ‘fly dance’ to distract your toddler who suddenly has a phobia of these flying cretins.

Parenting is loving someone unconditionally even if that person has vomited, weed and pooped on you at various points.

Parenting is putting someone else’s needs above yours at any time day or night even if it means letting your fish finger sandwich go cold because they are enjoying snuggling up to you.

Parenting finds you saying things that you never thought would come out your mouth- “you can’t colour your brother in”, “bath water isn’t for drinking”, “get off the table”- you get the idea.

Parenting is rewarding, fun, exhausting, messy, unpredictable, difficult, natural, eye-opening, brutal, uplifting and so much more.

Parenting is having your heart melt a little bit each day when a little person runs at you with her arms up shouting ‘mama’ and a littler person ends your day when he falls asleep on your chest as you are their comfort, their safe place and that makes you feel complete.

Well, we are hoping for a better weekend this weekend than last. Last weekend was one of those nightmare ones that you hope doesn’t come around very often. Friday evening Henry was at work and I was just getting ready to take the little people upstairs for a quick bath before bed as it was a bit later than I’d realised. Polly was stood in the middle of the living room and looked at me with a very confused face, she then opened her mouth and recreated that scene from Team America. For anyone not familiar with the film, she basically opened her mouth and redecorated the carpet, table and me with the contents of her tea. Lovely. Sadly, she got very upset by this sudden turn of events so ran straight at me for a cuddle, all I can say is thank goodness Seb was blissfully unaware of all this happily sitting in his bouncer chair. After a clean up and a cuddle we headed upstairs, giving up on the bath idea now as it was definitely too late. I laid her down to go to sleep and settled in our room to feed Seb when I heard the dreaded crying and puking over the monitor. Yup, she’d now taken out her complete bed including poor Frank the rabbit. This one was worse to clean. After another clean up I bought her into our room and settled her in our bed before returning to Seb. I genuinely thought that would be it as there was surely nothing left in her little body to bring up. I was wrong.

Over the next 2 hours she vomited a further 5 times, taking out our bed, our bedroom carpet, her carpet, all of her sets of pjs and several towels. At this point I had called Henry twice, once to ask if by the slightest chance he could come home early- a definite no as it was busy, and again to basically have a little cry. By 10 I decided to give 111 a little call to see what they advised as she couldn’t keep any water down and I was worried about dehydration. They put us on a call back from the Doctor list with an up to 2 hour wait (this turned into a 3 hour wait). During the next couple of hours Polly slept for a bit, on a towel in the middle of our bed, Seb settled in his moses basket and Henry (who finished at 10) and I sat the other side of the bed watching our poorly munchkin as she every now and then woke up to bring up some more. The doctor of course called when she was asleep, and he wanted her awake for the assessment, he gave a bit of advice and we all agreed to leave her sleeping at that point as the vomiting seemed to be getting more sporadic. Another few hours went by with sadly more vomiting, another 111 call, some crap advice this time and maybe an hours sleep for Henry and 10 minutes for me. By 5 she was definitely sleeping more than vomiting so when Henry’s alarm told him what time it was we both decided he may as well still go ahead with Bodypower as there wasn’t going to be much that he could do at home. After both little people woke up at 6:30 we headed downstairs for a duvet on the sofa kind of day. Polly still had one more puke in her and after a bit of toast and a nap with all of us cuddled up together she started to perk up a bit. Henry arrived home about 9:30 that night and we weren’t sure who was more exhausted, but we knew he’d had more fun that was for sure.

The next day Henry was back at work and Polly was back to her usual self, so we ventured down to see him and stayed for a scone and a cup of tea. I managed to catch up with the crazy amount of washing Pukegate had caused and Henry had the nice treat of being sent home at 3 instead of 5 as they were overstaffed. We had a nice evening together then I started to feel a bit off. Yup, my turn. This was one of those times when you realise how different life is when you’re a parent. Yes, Henry was there to look after Polly and put her to bed, sadly he doesn’t have breasts. That night was an interesting blurred mix of feeding Seb and running to the toilet that I really don’t want to repeat- ever. Thankfully Henry was off until 3 the next day so while Seb and I settled for another sofa duvet day Henry took Polly up to toddler group and then came back to do lunch and naptime. Unfortunately, this still meant I had to do teatime and bedtime while feeling a bit fragile still- again an experience I don’t really want to repeat. But hey, we got there in the end and Monday night there was sleep happening in the house for everyone. The boys (touch wood) seem to have avoided this delightful bug that I’ve christened ‘fast & furious’ as it comes on quick, ruins you, but then buggars off quite quick afterwards, I just hope there are no terrible remakes.

The rest of the week played out a lot better! We lost our IKEA virginity on Tuesday and planned our future dream home. On Wednesday we went to a local playcafe with Auntie Jen and little Harley and Harper. Polly and Harley had great fun running around all morning and we had a good catch up over several cups of tea. Then yesterday Polly had a blast at a little birthday playdate with some of her little friends.

So today we are hoping for a nice family day as Henry unusually has most of the day off and we have a little event to celebrate- it was our 4th wedding anniversary this week. I’m not sure where 4 years has gone, it’s passed in a blur of 2 house moves, 3 car changes, new jobs for each of us, twice, and of course 2 babies. Maybe that’s why it’s flown by. Still it’s been a blast Mr Woodard and here’s to many more, let’s go celebrate by riding little trains and chasing a toddler round soft play.

Today I feel a little bit fabulous. I know that sounds crazy coming from a mum of 2 under 2 but honestly after last night I do a bit. Rewind to 4PM on Monday and Seb decided to stick himself to my boob, he came off again at about 8PM last night. I’m really not exaggerating and sadly I think I’d forgotten the joy of cluster feeding during a growth spurt, so after literally no sleep for 2 nights after getting some actual sleep last night I feel as I say a little bit fabulous.

So, we are now 2 and half weeks into this new life with 2 little people to raise and I think things are now starting to fall into place as we establish some sort of new routine. To be honest it’s very similar to our old routine as Seb has pretty much just slotted in like a missing puzzle piece, it just means I’ve reacquainted myself to 2AM and Henry is yet to resume studying as we’re trying to find the best time for him to now do this. He’s off to Bodypower (think wedding fair but for fitness nuts like him) at the weekend so I expect Sunday will be when he picks up the textbook again when he comes back buzzing and raring to go in the personal training world again after a 3 week holiday.

There are crazy moments, of course. Last night while Henry was Facetiming his Dad, Seb was in his last stages of cluster feeding and Polly was running riot in the living room after tea with a

dangerously full nappy. She then filled the already full of wee nappy with the brown stuff and before either of us could change her she’d sat herself on my foot and started bouncing up and down, my naked foot. You don’t need me to tell you what the result was except to say Henry almost wet himself laughing so much while he wet wiped my foot clean and Seb carried on with his relentless feeding.

Going out just myself and the little ones also has its moments. On Friday morning we went for a little wander in Blackmoor gardens and Polly enjoyed a little squirrel walk, for approximately 8 minutes. Then she threw a strop about walking so wound up back in the pushchair having a little strop to herself and even had her hood up- taster of what to expect when she hits 13 I guess. But I have to say wrestling a toddler into her pushchair while she attempts to do the plank is great fun with a baby strapped to your chest is great fun, particularly in public.

Some nights have found a wriggly toddler back in our bed who is very intrigued as to why Mummy seems to be cuddling her little brother and feeding him when it’s night-night time. The result of this means that a couple of my mornings have started like this while Henry is on an early morning gym session.

Polly obviously has had her moments. Unfortunately, she’s gone back to hitting which has broken my heart and we are trying so hard to nip this in the bud for good as it’s adding a negative spin on this new change in our family life. At the same time, she adores her little brother, she comforts him when he cries and helps out with nappy changes, sadly he has not escaped the hitting which makes the whole thing even more upsetting. I know it’s been a huge change for us all but mainly for her as she didn’t really know what was coming and also didn’t get a say in it and she has been amazing with

understanding that I need to split my time between the 2 of them and she will happily sit and read a book next to me on the sofa while I feed him (again!). I know this is just a phase and it will pass and it will get easier for her as time moves on, it would be nice if she could just drop the face palming!