So, I’ve finally gone with it and packed a hospital bag (well 2) ready for that big event that seems to be creeping up even quicker than before. I hit week 33 this week so it seemed like a good time to do it, also a couple of babies have arrived in the May Facebook page I’m on so I’m very aware that that big mound under my top is actually a fully functioning human being and not just a ramp for Polly’s cars. I figured I’d dedicate an actual post to the old hospital bag as a potential reference that others could use, and I might in years to come when we hope to expand our clan even more.
So, what’s made the list and why? Well, bag number one is mine and contains:

• Clothes for me- 3x loose tops, 2x loose trousers, 2x PJ bottoms, 1x PJ top, nightie, slippers, dressing gown, 5x basic knickers, 2x nursing bras, bed socks, zip-up hoody. These are all to wear after the main event, you’ll notice the word ‘loose’, very important to remember that it’s only A-listers who vacuum that baby bump away before they grace OK magazine, the rest of us mere mortals are left with a deflated balloon and the chance to see how many stretch marks were hidden under the bump. I’ve pretty much packed the same stuff I used last time, most of it picked up at Primark as I wouldn’t advise taking your favourite comfy slippers anywhere near a maternity ward.
• Toiletries- hair ties, head band, brush, shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, lip balm, contact lens solution & spare pot, towel (not white!), flannel (not white!), flip flops. The shampoo etc are the mini ones you get in Boots for going on holiday with. You’ll also notice the ‘not white’ instruction- very important as you really don’t wanna be looking at a towel that looks like it was hanging over the rail in that horror film scene where she has a sad end to her shower. The head band I found great during the main event as it might come as a surprise that during labour you can get a bit hot and bothered so the last thing you want is your hair stuck to the side of your face when you’re trying to concentrate on your breathing.
• Items for the main event- bikini and loose-fitting t-shirt (actually a men’s t-shirt). Fairly self-explanatory really, I’m hoping for a water birth again and am literally packing what I wore for it last time. I mean I don’t recall actually putting the bikini bottoms on and the t-shirt came off at some point while in the pool, actually the bikini top came off too once I was on the bed doing the old skin to skin. So basically, by the end of my labour I was naked- this actually just occurred to me! In the photos though, someone has at least covered some of my modesty with a sheet, I mean the fact it’s taken me nearly 2 years to realise I was starkers (and for goodness knows how long after) just shows I wasn’t too concerned about that shred of dignity that I might have been retaining.
• Essentials for afterwards- soft bum wipes (honestly the only thing that might actually be as scary as childbirth is that first poo after delivery, take every little comfort you can get, I’ve actually treated myself to Andrex ones instead of the basic Aldi ones you can usually find in our bathroom). Maternity pads and breast pads- I mean it’s amazing how many different things come out of you after childbirth, so these are 2 packs of items you don’t want to forget. Carrier bag- to shove all the ‘used’ clothes items afterwards so they don’t need to make contact with the inside of your bag and can be easily transferred to a washing machine (or incinerator) whenever you’re up to the challenge.
• Extras- empty jewellery box (just somewhere safe to stick my rings & necklace should they need to go somewhere safe in a hurry). Phone charger. Snacks. Sign for the car saying ‘Wife in labour, will move A.S.A.P’- just in case. Maternity notes. Change for parking.
  Surprisingly this time I’ve actually not only packed considerably lighter than last time I’ve also had the sense to pack the things in the bag in the order that they’ll be needed- screw you baby brain you haven’t taken my mind completely just yet.

The bag for Bear-bear is even smaller:

• Selection of baby clothes- 4x long onesies, 4x short onesies, 2x hats, 2x cardi’s, 2x socks, 2x booties and a specially bought coming home outfit that will probably get forgotten about. All these are in neutral colours as we are going ‘team green’ and were of course all worn by Polly at some point.
• Pack of newborn nappies- I took one out just to look at again and actually used the phrase ‘shut up’ as I’d forgotten how small they actually are. And yes, a whole pack as those little monsters literally shit for England in those first few months.
• Changing essentials- pack of nappy bags, wipes and a pack of cotton wool.
• Blanket- It’s the same cute elephant one my parents bought for when Polly was born so it seemed a fitting one to pack.
• 4x muslins- these should be top of the ‘need to buy’ list for any expectant parent and I had one over my shoulder for the first 6 months of Polly’s life.

All I need to do now is dust off the car seat and stick the newborn inserts back in and we will officially be ready to have a baby. Well apart from setting up the Moses basket so baby has somewhere to sleep when they actually come home. Now it’s getting more real. Now these 2 bags have taken up residence in the hallway it’s become a lot more real.