So, it’s been a quiet few days with us packing in a few shifts, so we haven’t really done much to write about. Polly though has had a field day with her toddler group Christmas parties, the highlight being todays with an indoor bouncy castle that I didn’t think I’d ever get her off! I thought I’d go into a topic that has been thrown my way a few times since we welcomed Polly into our world 18 months ago…. “How does having children change your relationship?”
It’s the same question that newlyweds get too I suppose and the truth is of course our marriage has changed since we became parents as your relationship changes once you enter wedded bliss. Relationships evolve over time with each new change so sometimes people like to look back and wonder how you got from that to this. And yes, having a child has been the biggest change in our relationship, but you know what- I would never dream of going back as change is usually a good thing.
So, in practical terms how are we different? Well, Henry and I met and fell in love as teenagers just over 9 years ago, so yeah, I’d say we are very different people now. Gone are the days where we laid in bed binge watching episodes of Scrubs, Friends and Will & Grace. Gone are the days where we went to the cinema whenever we fancied and had nights out at the drop of the hat. Gone are the days where we spent a week’s wages on each other for Valentine’s Day. Gone are the days of soppy text messages which always finished with 3 kisses. And in their place? This afternoon while Polly napped we both fell asleep on the sofa while watching Loose Women. The last time we went to the cinema was while I was pregnant with Polly, we saw the Batman v Superman film and she kicked the stuffing out of me at each loud bang (there were a few of them) and the next planned trip to go is next year to see the Peter Rabbit film. I’m not sure what a night out is? I’m not sure what we did for Valentine’s Day this year, Henry thinks we had a steak tea once Polly was in bed, but they would have been a Lidl special and there certainly wouldn’t have been any Hotel Chocolates pulled out a gift bag for desert. And a taster of our most recent text messages to each other….
• “Is she asleep yet?”
• “You can put the kettle on or come up and deal with this.” (This being a Polly who didn’t want to sleep at bedtime)
• “Don’t forget to put your bits in the washing machine”
• “Where’s my chocolate?”
• “I see you now you bum fart, walk faster”
• “If you finish that and get bored there’s always the hoovering to do”
• “McDonald’s”
• “Are you on your way home to give me a hug?” “Yes how did you guess?” “Because you’re texting me you doofus” “Text sarcasm” “Hurry up I want to go to sleep you inconsiderate poo head”
Oh, and a taste of how classy it got when my morning sickness was at its height and Henry had delightfully blocked the toilet…. “Oh and if that shit is still in toilet in the morning and I need to puke, don’t be mistaken- I will use your shoe instead.”
The texts may have lost those 3 kisses at the end but due to the advances of phones they are filled with delightful emojis instead, and you may have guessed the smiling poo one is in my most used section. So, yes, our relationship is different, we basically have an open door policy in the bathroom, we don’t go on expensive dates and we don’t proclaim our love all over Facebook, but what we do have instead is something irreplaceable, sorry to go all sentimental but it’s true. We have respect and love and at the same time we still make each other laugh. This is the man who held my hand during labour and joked about Harry Potter films while helping me sip water between puffs of gas and air. This is the man who makes me laugh every day. This is the man who got me through our darkest days by doing exactly the right thing without being told as he knew what I needed when I didn’t. This is the man who knows if he’s gone to the gym early in the morning then I will expect a sausage and egg McMuffin bought home. So, yes things are different, but this is a case of definitely good different. And right now, I’m going to sign off to go and join my 2 favourite people as they turn my living room into a model railway village, bit different from wild nights out drinking shots, but that was a very different time and I have no intention of going backwards.