Well it’s definitely now sinking in that we really are adding a member to our little family next year. Now that it’s public knowledge and we can openly talk about it I feel a sense of relief that we aren’t hiding things anymore. I did feel pretty bad starting a new job having just found out I was expecting again, I’m not going to say it’s bad timing because it’s not a bad thing having a baby and it wasn’t a bad thing going back to work. It’s just life. In reality everyone has been more than understanding and supportive and all we’ve had is positive reactions when telling people our news.

It also became more real at the end of last week when we went for our first scan. I was as to be expected a bundle of nerves right up until we saw a bouncy baby who was just a wriggly as Polly had been (a nice sign that I’ll have another fidgety baby all the way through who kicks at all hours and gets under my ribs at inopportune moments!), also until we heard that the fluid measurements on baby’s neck were ok too. With Polly they weren’t which led to us delaying our announcement as we were told of the chances that she would be poorly, very poorly. This also led to an extra scan 2 days before Christmas to see whether further investigations would be needed, luckily we got the all clear at that point- the greatest early Christmas present we have ever received. So all we wanted from this scan was just that a normal, typical, average, non-dramatic scan where you go in, see the baby and leave. Luckily that’s exactly what we got. Baby ‘Bear-Bear’ got the ok at the first scan. Polly has christened this one, she was affectionately known as ‘Bump’, now ‘Bump’ is an out the womb, chatting, roaming toddler she has recently started learning body parts. She will lift her top up and cry ‘bear-bear’ at her belly and anyone else’s too, hence the baby being nicknamed ‘Bear-Bear’.

We both seem to have got properly into the swing of our new jobs now and we are enjoying our new roles. It’s hard at times, for different reasons for each of us. I tend to be ok while working as it’s a good distraction from feeling a bit naff but then I get home and collapse in a heap on the sofa before realising this is my 3 hours with Polly before she goes to bed so I need to savour every moment. Mum guilt starts seeping in then. Henry has done so well to learn a new set of skills and get used to a very different way of working and I’m very proud of how quickly he’s picking it all up. He had a bad shift last week and felt awful for it but like I pointed out, we’re all going to have bad days and when one thing goes wrong then it can quickly snowball. This whole process wasn’t going to be smooth and easy so I just tried to reinforce it into him that he needs to give himself a break. It’s how you react afterwards that’s important and thankfully he just got straight back into the swing of it and hasn’t let it hold him back.

The last thing I’m going to write about today (as I realise this is turning into an essay-oops!!) is sleep. It’s a long running joke isn’t it- when you have kids you can kiss goodbye to this concept so as a parent you aren’t really allowed to bitch about it too much. Well, today I am going to bitch about it. We are not blessed with a good sleeper, since day 1 it became apparent we had not delivered a ‘oh she’s been sleeping through since we left the hospital baby’ or a ‘oh he takes himself upstairs, sings a lullaby to himself and climbs into bed without a fuss and has been since he was 2 weeks old baby’. No. Polly has slept through the night probably 10-15 times her whole life. But recently she has nailed the going to sleep bit by herself (I’m literally touching wood right now) and also she’s sleeping through till 6 without a peep. Last night she actually went through till 6:50! But then every now and then she has a night where she just doesn’t want to sleep. We seem to be enjoying one of these delights once a week at the moment. Sunday night was the chosen day this week (hopefully it’s just one night this week) and of course I’d been up since 6:30, was due to be up at 6:30 again and was generally shattered. Sadly Henry was so tired too that he was doing his usual of sleeping through everything, that boy would honestly sleep through the house falling down. I mean I was giving him some fairly sharp rib kicks and not a peep, until 6AM when I lost all patience after a grand total of 2 hours sleep. I left Polly in the bed with a half awake Henry and stormed out the room and ‘slept’ for 20 minutes in her cot. Yes I slept in her cot while she slept my bed. But this is the thing that people who don’t have a ‘bad sleeper’ don’t understand, you can sit on your high-horse and judge me all you like but unless you’ve been through a night like that when nothing and I mean nothing expect a tranquiliser would subdue your child, you don’t understand how desperate you can be for even just 20 minutes of sleep. I know this won’t last forever and I know there are plenty who sleep less than she does and I know she excels in other areas. My point is we need to stop comparing babies and expecting them to follow what the ‘guide book’ says they should be doing and accept that they are all different and they do all these things in their own time. It is our jobs as parents to love and support them through it all without tearing too much of our hair out.