These are a couple of posts that I’d written ahead of time but hadn’t been able to publish for obvious reasons.

Yesterday morning I took a pregnancy test. I knew already that it would flash up positive. I knew that I was pregnant before buying the test as I just had that feeling. I mean my irregular cycle was showing that I was ‘late’ too but still I knew it. Obviously, this is something that I’m not posting for a little while as we’ll wait for a scan and the OK from a doctor before we start shouting it from the rooftops. But I want to record how I felt and what happens in those early weeks. So here are the snippets of the first trimester.
It does feel strange. Good strange, don’t get me wrong! But definitely strange. There’s another little person growing in my belly. Polly is going to be a big sister. Our family is growing. I am excited. I really am. I’m also nervous. This is my fourth pregnancy. Before Polly there were two other little people that were growing in my belly at different times but we didn’t get to meet them. This made me a tad on edge whilst pregnant with Polly and sadly it seems it’s going to make me a tad on edge through any other pregnancy. I am excited, I really am. But I also won’t celebrate properly until this little person is out in my arms having that first precious cuddle. I’m also nervous about having 2 under 2. I’m also worried that our current situation makes bringing in another child a bit scary. Quite frankly I think Henry and I are both shitting ourselves about this. But it is what it is. We might have a difficult couple of years ahead- well no might about it, we will. But we will work through it. This is our family and we will make it through for our little family, our little family that as of next May should hopefully have grown again. Wow. This is happening. And I know the excitement and the happiness will outweigh the worry, the fear and the doubt. We are having another baby, this is going to be fun!

A typical day in the first trimester:
7:30ish- Wake up
7:35- Puke with the cat sitting on the side of the bath providing moral support.
8- Attempt some toast, the toddler will eat more than you.
8:30- Get dressed (complain at how tender boobs are), get toddler dressed and clean everyone’s teeth. Try not to gag as you clean your own teeth.
9/9:30ish- Actually leave the house. Feel not too bad for the first 3 and half minutes as you get some fresh air, then go back to feeling shit.
9:30/10- Attend toddler group. Pray said toddler isn’t in complete rascal mood so you can at least sit for 2 minutes on a chair. Try and find a way to disguise the lack of tea drinking on your part (“Yes I would like some squash in a mug”). Mime singing at the end as for some reason this is suddenly a puke risk situation.
11:30- Get back home. Potentially puke again. Attempt lunch (don’t feel bad when you plate up 6 chicken dippers for the 3rd lunch time in a row for yourself). Again, the toddler will eat more than you.
1ish- Put toddler down for her nap. Pray she goes down without a fuss as this is ideal nap potential for yourself, I mean a chance to do the laundry and maybe do a spot of dusting… pahahahaha I’m totally kidding- have the nap!
3ish- Playtime and CBeebies time (I will not be made to feel bad for putting kids TV on so don’t even bother). Spend maybe half an hour lying on the floor pretending to play sleeping bunnies when the nausea hits but remember to be aware that the toddler will see this as an attack chance and bash you on the face with a block.
4:30- Spend 10 minutes trying to work out what food you can handle for dinner then cook said food while trying not to breath in too much.
5/5:30- Plate up food, sit at the table, watch toddler devour hers, eat one mouthful and realise you didn’t actually really want this. Force yourself to eat a child’s size portion and dump the rest on husband’s plate waiting for him in the microwave.
6/6:30- Try and burn up last bit of toddler’s energy. This might just kill you.
7- Bath time. Try not to look at the toilet too much as it tries to lure you in, you can be in the bathroom for other reasons than just puking.
7:30- Toddler bedtime. Read ‘Guess how much I love you’ at top speed as reading out loud is making you feel queasy again (thank goodness I know it off by heart). Again, pray she goes down without a fuss.
8- Make nest on the sofa with a glass of water and catch up on Eastenders while the cat sticks himself to you. Maybe eat a pot noodle. Try not to fall asleep and give up being an adult at 9:30 and crawl up to bed.