Many people (well many people without kids) like to ask that question. ‘What’s it like having children?’
So, I thought I’d do a little piece giving a little taster of life with a little person in tow. The examples will be all over the place as they come back to me so just bear in mind Polly is now 16 months old so those hazy newborn days were a while ago now (I know they feel never ending when you’re in them but trust me ‘this too shall pass’) so some bits may be a bit vague. Some bits may have also been dissolved from my memory to not put me off having more children.
1. Sleep. Just kiss goodbye to it. Some people are blessed with good sleepers. We are not one of those families. Polly has slept through the night a few times. She is capable of putting herself to sleep. She just choses to keep these moments as special treats that she throws out to us every now and then. And before you jump down my throat about sleep training- she has been sleep trained (last count I think we’ve done it 4 times) but guess what sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes they are teething. Sometimes they just want some extra cuddles. Sometimes they just don’t want to go to bloody sleep. And again, before the rest of you jump down my throat about sleep training, it was a very gentle version that did not involve leaving her to cry.
2. Judgement. Post 1 just shows you the other reality of parenthood. You find yourself constantly needing to justify everything you do and say as guess what, someone out there won’t agree with what you’re doing and they’ll feel the need to tell you so.
3. Bodily functions. There once was a time when the thought of touching poo or sick would have made me actually want to be sick (I will never forget in primary school when a school friend vomited the length of the corridor and I was one of at least 2 others who then added to said vomit after witnessing it). Oh, those days are long gone. The beautiful invention of baby wipes now means that not a lot phases me in this department- please Polly do not take that as a challenge though. So, you want to hear some actual examples. Well I have a couple of charming tales, one about the time that Polly projectile pooed at me getting me full in the face, including my mouth and all in my hair. She also vomited over my face when I picked her up above my head once, I’ll never make that mistake again. You’ll also come across the term ‘poonami’, this one is a real rite of passage for all new parents. It basically means a poop situation that is not contained in a nappy, sorry guys but it will happen at some point. You’ll also get to the stage where you’re picking a bogie out of your child’s nose before you shake your head and realise what your life has become.
4. Messy house. At some point you’ll just realise this inevitable, maybe you’ll last until the toddler stage, but at some point, you’ll just realise you can’t fight a fire with a water pistol. You can tidy as much as you like but little people are like tornadoes. This is a snap shot of the destruction one toddler can wreak in just an hour…

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More to come soon….